[Don Ro]

Back in '08 I sold everything in CA and was asked to moved to Gresham, OR to care take a couple - friends.
Husband was almost 20 yrs. old than the wife.
She needed a great amount of help w/him - Alzheimer's, dementia, and schizophrenia...and on tons of meds.
.
He would spray paint dead back yard plants w/green paint...placed a vinyl blow-up pool toy over a hot lawn mower - rain expected that night.
The stories of his difficulties were numerous...most were a hoot to hear, frankly.
.
He developed 'sun-downer's" syndrome - brought on by his deep frustration about his loss of memory during the day...he would flip-out in the evenings.
He would get very nasty in the evenings and would often threaten his wife and physically attack her...chocked her twice.
.
After a while of this, she developed "caretaker's syndrome"...the effect of being around such a demanding person for years...it can be debilitating.
While still somewhat lucid, he eventually sought out a care facility that he liked and went into, but he continued to harass her with threats of divorce (her loss of his LEO retirement) when she wouldn't visit him every day.
He became such a problem at his first care facility - too much management energy - that they asked him to leave.
The wife found him a private care home with 4 others with the same issues.
He eventually deteriorated to the point of not knowing who she was. Thank God for her.
She stopped visiting him.
.
She was one miserable lady when I arrived on the scene.
I spent two years taking care of her - she passed in '10.
I bought a motor home and set out to see America and to find my final home here in AZ.
It was a learning experience for me - to say the least.
I dread my own possible eventual experience of what they both went through.

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"Caregiver burnout is a state of physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion that may be accompanied by a change in attitude -- from positive and caring to negative and unconcerned. Burnout can occur when caregivers don't get the help they need, or if they try to do more than they are able -- either physically or financially. Caregivers who are "burned out" may experience fatigue, stress, anxiety, and depression. Many caregivers also feel guilty if they spend time on themselves rather than on their ill or elderly loved ones."