To start off... I was a private adoption, so the records were never sealed. I have all the records, birth certificates (I have two). No mention of my birth father on any record. Bmom wanted it that way. I only know he repaired movie house projectors and other mechanical things - which is why I am good with my hands. I was born in my birth grandparents house, but my Bmom's doctor was my uncle's dad, which helped with the whole adoption thing.
Bill, I know the factors. Second child out of wedlock and my Bmom was not exactly ready to raise one child, let alone two. In fact, my brother was raised by his grandparents until his teen years, those he got to see "mom" on the weekends.
"I have a question. What do you think about being adopted?"...
I can't answer for how one feels as an adult to file adoption papers, but growing up was really no different than the way my best friend friend (childhood) grew up. We both got in trouble/grounded, had the same types of family arguments. I suppose you get teased a bit more as a kid - your parents didn't want you, you were so ugly they gave you up.... I guess I was never teased to the point of being bullied, so no real lasting memories/scars on that issue.
To address what id10t brought up about medical history - yes, this would be nice. It's hard to fill out forms when asked about family medical history. Everything that applies to my parents that raise me does not apply to the questions. I have no blood relation, so their issues can't display in me.
"Personally, my feeling is that adoptees are the only ones among us who absolutely, positively know they were wanted."
My own thoughts here... I think there is a hierarchy list between adoptees, foster kids, orphans. Orphans get the worst of it, foster kids next up, and adoptees are usually the most lucky. I say this, as those adopted usually are adopted as a baby and grow up with one family, unlike foster kids who can go from home to home until (hopefully) adopted. Orphans in my view get the really short end of the stick and usually remain that way unless they are adopted at an early age or go through foster care. That said...
And yes, the inside joke with my parents is that the my warranty is long up, so there is no returning me now.
I was lucky to be raised by my parents. I had anything a kid could want growing up, went to private schools, vacations, traveled the world... One can't really think or dwell on the "what if's". It's impossible to tell what would happen if the road of life took a different fork in the road (of which there are many throughout life in general). If raised by my Bmom, it would have been in a small coal/steel town with not much to offer - but who knows what would have happened...
I think the only confusion with me is how I identify with nationalities. I am American, US citizen, no doubts there, but when asked "where are you from", it's hard to answer. I was raised by a dad who has Polish blood, but would be considered an American, since that family was here so long and now mixed. My mom is German, so I've identified with that growing up, but my blood is half Lithuanian, half "something else". The Lithuanian runs strong in my birth family to this date. I go with how I wish to explain things on any given day.
I hope that gives a little more insight.