my wife and I are both overweight. it's easier for me to say 'WE need to lose weight' because i'm right there with her. I think if I did a better job with my weight she would do the same. we struggle with weight but we struggle together.
as to your situation post some nudie pics of her and we'll let you know the best way to proceed.
PS,
Carbs are my problem as well. Should be a controlled substance. I sincerely believe the chemical reaction in our brains to carbs and sugar must be very similar to that a drug addict gets.