[reachme]

I have three daughters and here is what I do.

1. Your daughter must have a passcode on the phone and share that with you. Block others, include you.
2. Have her use your apple ID. Every song/movie she downloads will come to you, as will the bill that she can pay you for if you are a good Dad.
3. Nationalize all power cords to the kitchen. Phone must stay down every night after dinner for charging. I have a 6USB charger box with a bunch of Apple charger cables in it. No reason for a teenager to text from their bedroom at night.
4. Email her monthly the data report showing how much bandwidth she used so she is aware. Teach her the difference between Wifi, cell data, roaming, tethering etc.
5. Let her know you may check her phone, at first she will be fine with that. Later she will challenge you and say "you don't trust me"!. Be clear that you do not trust her (cause you don't) and say that teenagers are known to make bad decisions but that's ok because they have parents.
6. Have iTunes on a central family computer with the library in a shared directory (setup a new user acct and give everyone access to their documents dir). State the reason so you can share music and not buy twice. They will soon see that everything they purchase will be shared.
7. Absolutely NO taking pictures of others in the house to share without their approval. Incriminating pictures are way too easy to instantly share across the world and use as leverage against sisters. If suspected they must turn over their phone for inspection by the other (sister) who gets to scroll through their pictures to verify [which they absolutely HATE].
They must friend you on facebook or instagram, twitter, snapchat, chatroulette or whatever they want to join. If you don't know then look at the apps they have.

Later they will start to delete texts that are personal. I'm fine with that but they cannot stop texts that come in after they leave the phone in the kitchen and they come up on the screen. Like the Chinese media they will self police which is what you want. They can have their own life with private things but digital is not the place to air it.

I have witnessed numerous incidents of group bullying. inappropriate texts, etc. and knowing this will be public data I get a very mature reaction from them. Exactly what you would want. The way I see it is the internet is like New York City. You can go to the peepshows or you can go to the art museums and if you accompany them they will be more comfortable at museums. The internet is the same way.

Oh and when they are on the shared family computer, SSH into it from your iphone downstairs, use SAY command to tell them "It's Dad,,, I am shutting off the computer now,, it's time to come down to dinner".
Try shutdown g0 -y now and they will assume you can see and do ANYTHING.