Quote:
Originally Posted by LeeH
Yes... I do honestly feel that I did everything I could. In the end, I'm not the one who left. I truly wish her the best. She is an amazing woman by anyone's standards.
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I think you're off to a pretty healthy start. When my marriage fell apart, I promised myself I wouldn't be one of those guys who *****es about his ex. I see a lot of people who get held back by their bitterness. Yes, I had/have reasons to be sour, but I'm sure from her perspective she has reasons too.
I think focusing on your daughter is great, just be careful. A lot changes for the kids, and sometimes we put too much pressure on them, and they end up feeling like they have to "fake it", and they look for an escape, withdraw or act out. Your daughter's older, so as long as she's comfortable talking and being honest with you and her mom, things will probably be fine. Be mindful that she may not want to talk to either of you about it, so make sure that counselling is encouraged and made to seem normal and acceptable.
Counselling is a good idea for you too, in all likelihood. Ask me how I know.
A lot of people have made this point, but I'll say it again too... once you get over the shock and stress of all the change, some really liberating changes will start to surface. Enjoy them, because they are awesome. A few examples:
* I get to have really enjoyable, dedicated time with my kids on a set schedule that I look forward to. I also get to have enjoyable, dedicated time WITHOUT my kids hahah
* I never pull up in my driveway after work and worry about how someone else's negativity (towards the world, themselves or me) is about to impact me
* I never have to justify my worth, my time or my efforts
* I can decide to do something tomorrow, and *silence*. I can decide to do something right now, and *silence*
* Know who really seems to like divorced men in their early 40's? Women in their early 30s who are tired of BOYS