[steveo12345]

Originally Posted by Porsche-O-Phile

She says that now but I bet once she gets an attorney involved she'll change her tune. No lawyer is going to let their client leave tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars in equity on the table. I've seen this happen far too many times with people close to me - it always starts as "amicable" and the moment lawyers get involved it becomes a schyteshow. Remember lawyers only get paid when they're fighting and arguing (or more specifically when their clients are). They have absolutely nothing to gain by seeing you settle amicably and will likely goad you both into making things as contentious as possible to maximize billable hours.

I hope you've lawyered up already. If not, don't wait. Get a good one and document EVERYTHING she says about not being interested in the house, etc. Get it in writing if you can - then you might have a shot. At the end of the day (since you're male) expect you'll lose the house, kids, half your savings and likely your retirement. Sorry, I've seen this happen more times than I can count and I've been dragged in to testify twice at divorce cases that went all the way to trial. It sucks for everyone involved and even those only peripherally involved. All she has to do if things get contentious enough is hint at the word "abuse" and your life will be turned into a hell you can't even begin to comprehend.

Accept the fact that as a male, you're automatically wrong, you're an inherently bad person, you obviously did something wrong, you're probably abusive, you automatically treated the perfect little princess like crap and you deserve to lose everything you have - and you will. Use those as your guiding principles to set your expectations so you won't be let down. Then maybe you'll be able to get some closure at some point. I hate to say it but expect things to get nasty - they will. Finally, after a couple of years of living hell and financial armageddon, you might be able to move on. Don't be ridiculous - get out of the house now, sell everything you possibly can, start living as poorly as you can and for heaven's sake get a lawyer involved pronto who MIGHT be able to do something for you.

Sorry to be a downer at a vulnerable time but I see realism as a necessary thing sometimes. This is a craptastic situation for sure and I've seen it happen too often - girl wakes up one day and says out of the blue "I want something else" and gets kids, house, cars, free money and the guy gets shell-shocked and blasted into financial oblivion. The outcome has been the same in every single case I've seen, with a few variations on just how bad it got for them.

I'm really sorry to hear that yet another one of our brothers here has been dragged into this fustercluck abortion of justice known as the "family law" system.

Everything said here is 100% correct. I speak from experience.