Quote:
Originally Posted by LeeH
I really don't see it going that way for a variety of reasons that I won't catalog here.
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Neither did I.
Discretely getting a lawyer is REALLY good advice. I didn't expect things to get adversarial, but when it did go that route she was prepared, armed and had a strategy. I was blindsided and did not have the time, bandwidth or resources to react.
We were on a very cooperative, even keeled path initially. But as time went on, her "support system" was to a large degree, jaded divorcees who had been around the block. I didn't see the change in approach coming, and I wasn't prepared for it. Because I wanted to remain amiable, I continued to try to meet her half (or partway) on everything, even as her expectations become more and more unreasonable.
By the time things were coming to signatures last fall, I was worn down and struggling to manage 2 mortgages, 2 homes, support payments while still managing to float my business. I just wanted it done. If I'd engaged my own lawyer earlier, I'm sure he/she would have guided me much better.
Essentially, I got gutted financially because I was not prepared. My ex is the very last person you would have expected to see take that tack. We are close now and co-parent very well, but in my mind that's because I just decided not to harbour resentment. She refers to it as a "rough time" that she's embarassed about, in retrospect.