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It's amazing how a woman's mind and opinion can change overnight once she's convinced she can gain something, and you've fallen out of favor. Guilt doesn't exist for most of them.
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I'll offer a different perspective. Not all women are out to get you, not all courts and lawyers treat men like dirt and states have different laws and processes. For those who went through that experience, sorry to hear it. My experience was different and I've heard a ton more anectodal stories about men who cheated, lied and stole from their spouses.
I hired a lawyer trained in amicable (uncontested) divorce. Now, we started with nothing so all was marital property. She had her own lawyer but both were trained in this process. We split all down the middle and I paid a reasonable spousal support as the main $ earner for a few years. Took a while to figure out because we had a decent retirement nest egg and several rental properties. She stayed in the marital home, I moved into one of the rentals, kids and dogs went back and forth week to week. Legal costs were about $5,000. If it had gone south during the process I had my attorney, she had hers. To this day we are friends, kids eventually got through it and we are in many ways still a family who attend events together, support each other, etc.
Best of luck.