[rattlsnak]

Wow, some hard luck stories there! I couldn't imagine it that way. My situations have been completely the opposite. I have gone through TWO divorces, ( of 7 and 15 years) and in both, I came out WAY ahead financially and property wise and mentally. I kept all of my cars/house, possessions, etc. and couldn't be happier. Did I miss the family/love/security, etc.? of course, but you have to [simply] let it go and turn the page and go forward and never look back. Don't dwell on certain aspects of your failed marriage and think, what could I have done differently, or I wish I would have done this or that, and so on. Think about the good times and keep those memories but MOVE FORWARD. There will be other women, there will be other dates, and sooner or later, you will find someone else whom you fall deeply in love with. If someone is still having issues/not over/bitter about the divorce after 4-6 weeks, let alone 3-4 years, then they need to see someone and get some professional help. (I mean no disrespect to anyone in particular when i say that) As mentioned above, it will cause you many other problems and issues in every other aspect of your life. I have been very fortunate to get over mine very quickly and it helps to have a mind where i am able to compartmentalize everything. I truly feel for those who can't. But The older you get, the easier it will be to find the right girl. You know more now of want you want/don't want, and so will she, and you're both less likely to change as the years go on so much better shot at finding a true fit and a lasting marriage. My hat is off to those who have found their dream girl at a young age and are still with them and happy today after years and years. But for the rest of us, it's a work in progress and you are not alone.