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(On Father's Day and for pops who was not appreciated enough.)
I met her at dad's rental house. She had been a nurse for decades.
She'd arrived in town only a few years before from a bad relationship where she she lost everything to a psycho she was living with in the sticks. The story changed a bit. But her best-friends husband (who I later became good friends with) told me she had a psychotic episode and walked away leaving everything, and that was just a repeat behavior. I do know she lost the house given to her by an ex to move to those sticks.
She didn't want to talk about it.
She liked to say that pops was her savior. Her everything. Then pops came down with the bad kind of dementia and went into a nursing home. But she visited him only twice during two and a half years, and only with prompting. She was a nurse mind you and he was her savior whom she owed everything to.
She said it was too painful to think about.
Through her mother's passing, her lengthy menopause and more I held her hand and my gonads. I bought her a car, two cars, tires for both and oil. Vacations. I did my part always while she contributed the bare minimum for costs and took the lions share. She was now making $55+k/yr at her new job while I went through near bankruptcy due to legal fraud.
But she always contributed the minimum.
Then the roles reversed and I needed help with health care. She easily could sign me onto her policy for free, but she refused for a long while.
Every discussion ended with 'I don't want to talk about it' or 'I'm moving out'.
When she pulled some major crap during my father's funeral, and again threatened to move out, I finally believed her. I finally asked her to move and helped her get settled. Best o luck. She's now wanting to hook up again.
I'm not too bright and a bit slow but eventually I learn the lesson.
I've heard 'no' enough times to finally believe it.
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