Quote:
Originally Posted by larrydickman
Well, let me tell you. Long time member, first time caller. I know and have met many Pelicans and count you all among my close friends and confidants. I created a new account (I know, against forum policy, call the cops). I'm currently going through a divorce and this thread has been a God send. I couldn't contribute under my username since it is an ongoing process that will hopefully be over soon.
I've seen a few Pelicans go through this and had to change their ID (Odd Job Uno comes to mind, oh how I would love to hear his contributions to this thread). With social media you just never know what can bite you in the ass, hence my concern posting under my user name.
Anyway, I was the one who left. Years of putting up with negativity, sarcasm and general bytchyness finally got the best of me. No interactions socially (everyone was an a hole), she hasn't worked in 20 years (I tried getting her interested in something, all shot down in flames). I finally realized she was anti social, bi-polar and just a plain she devil.
No kids (thank God) so you would think the divorce would be a slam dunk. 2 homes owned outright, stocks, retirement, pretty much 'bucks up". I wanted to split down the middle, walk away and be done. Unfortunately a male Gloria Allred in a cheap suit got involved. Seems we were married 9 years 10 months. Now he is sucking money to the tune of $70k so far in lawyer fees trying for "Marvin Law" and she is supposably unable to work ever again and needs spousal support for who knows how long. My lawyer took one look at her at my deposition (in the words of widebody911 "I'd rather have my nuts pounded flat with a ball-peen hammer than go through that again") and first thing he said is "she's a bitter, angry woman".
Hopefully it will be resolved soon. I just want to know what my monthly "nut" will be so I can move on. I tried to be the nice guy and let her take care of some medical issues before she lost her insurance due to divorce. Boy, was that a mistake. A good friend offered me advice that I should have taken, "No matter how hard it hurts or how bad it is, whack it off at the knees, that's the only way".
This thread has helped rid me of some of the feelings of anger, remorse, guilt and failure that occurs so early in the game and you really need to step back and look at how positive your life has become once you kick that baggage to the curb.
And NFN nailed it, "I'm eating a hamburger on the couch and no one can say crap about it" or something to that effect. Freedom is a long needed breath of fresh air once you can inhale again.
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Talked with my lawyer today about my progress hearing Wednesday. Apparently her lawyers have realized she's a bit of a whack job and would like to settle. Unfortunately she doesn't like the idea of it being deemed a "short term marriage" and only recieving spousal support for 4-5 years. We have requested a vocational evaluation to see exactly what her earnings potential is.
Here's the thing. Her Mom smokes like a chimney, has a bad ticker and is 76 y.o. When she passes the ex will get 6 rental properties that generate around $7k a month. I know, easy to live on but she's not satisfied with just that. She's bitter and angry, especially since I have moved on and am living with someone. Oh well, fingers crossed.