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I understand POP's recommendation to consult an attorney, but I think his "doom and gloom" is a bit over the top. As others have mentioned everyone's situation is different, some of you have really been through a roller coaster ride. I liked getting FP's perspective, she's a smart woman who can keep a level head in a tough, personal situation. It's easy to let anger and animosity rule and that's when the legal bills start climbing higher.
As Craig T mentioned it is like ripping off a band aid. Hurts now but you are much better in the long run if the love is lost in the relationship. Everyone suffers. I asked my lawyer initially if it was true that divorce is running at 60%. He said definitely "yes", but where I live (upper mid class, soccer moms in yoga pants running around town all day in their SUV's while pops is banging the Secretary at work) runs close to 80%.
You see long term relationships (some 40+ years) ending in divorce today. High profile celebs (Neil Young, Graham Nash, Cpt and Tennile, Al Gore, etc). I think when you're 50 and in a bad relationship you realize you have 25-40 years left, do you want to spend it miserable and angry or pull the ripcord and bail to have a chance at a happy life.
My life satisfaction and happiness have increased tenfold since the separation. It was at the point where I didn't even want to go home after work. I was alienated from family (they were all a holes in her eyes), same with friends. Believe me, it's no way to live.
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