[sand_man]

In my situation, she was a stay at home mom for many years. It was never my intention to leave her flat or force the kids out of the only house they ever knew. That's what was important to me and those were the goals I instructed my lawyer to remember. After I moved out, I continued to make all household related payments (the mortgage, taxes, insurance, utilities, etc) until the divorce was final. It was a few years later once it was all said and done.

I agreed to let her have the house and any equity in it, obviously this meant she would need her own financing to take it over. In the end, she decided the house was too much for her to maintain and decided to sell. She moved into a new townhouse with the proceeds. I paid off her car and gave her the title. I kept all of the joint credit card debt, which has now been paid off.

In short, I was doing my best to avoid unnecessary bitterness and strife, which ultimately would have been felt by the kids. I currently pay alimony and child support. To some, I took it on the chin, but I never had to go to court and fight for custody. We also maintain a very flexible visitation schedule. I like to think, I've given her the means to stay on her feet without having to work 80 hours in some menial job, which would keep her away from the kids, in order to make ends meet. I wasn't about to fight over "stuff"...I left it all behind.