[RKDinOKC]

I would be fully supportive of whatever he is deciding for whatever reasons or influences. If it makes him happy who cares if he blows all his money? After all, it is HIS money. Even though you have his best interests in mind, is it worth you and your families relationships with him?

Do what you can to stay friends and DON'T be judgmental of condemning. At the very most I would only say that he is brave because you couldn't do what they are doing and leave it at that. Then do what you can to help without becoming financially responsible.

Welcome her to the family, but watch your silver when she visits!


Where I'm coming from...
My brother had MS and ran into an old HS flame after a bad divorce due to his MS. The old flame was like you described, very checkered past and present. She latched onto him after they first reconnected, basically moved in. Turned out she was a co-dependent and had just gotten hooked up with the wrong types putting her in the bad positions she was in. Was the best thing to happen to both of them.

One of the differences is they didn't rush out to get married. She was receiving VA benefits due to his MS that would quit. She was getting paid for being a live-in caregiver. Their church got all involved and talked them into getting married. After they got married the VA didn't just stop paying her, they made them pay back all the money they had paid her in the past. Because of the amount they had to pay back to the VA they stopped giving money to the church and ALL the church people stopped coming around.