[Jeff Higgins]

So, having been recently well and truly dressed down by one of our more challenged colleagues by way of the tried and true "penis extender" argument, let's hear about yours. Er, um, not "yours", but all of those little articles in your life that so obviously serve as "penis extensions". I'll start:

My '72 911 hot-rod. Everyone I know who does not own a Porsche has, at one time or another, muttered something about Porsche owners' "small dicks".

My Harleys. Has there ever been another vehicle (other than maybe a Corvette) so often accused of making up for its owner's lack of "manhood"?

My guns. Oh My God - not only penily challenged, but insecure and paranoid to boot. I have so many of the god damn things I must be some sort of really deranged whacko.

My job. I honestly never thought of this one, but apparently working on big airplanes is yet another avenue through which I "compensate".

My dog. O.k., I admit, I just threw this one in. Although she is only a Golden Retriever (and turns 12 next year), I'm sure she must, in some way (to some people) speak to how I'm "compensating" for something.

I'm sure there are more, but now it's your turns. What possessions of yours do the pussy-whipped she-men accuse you of owning merely to "compensate for something"? I'm sure the list is endless...