[legion]

I don't do this to other non-family members. We will do stuff like this with grandparents and our siblings (aunts/uncles to the kids), but we live far away (so only like once every year or two) and they do sometimes bow out of the craziness with no offense taken.

I do have one coworker who whenever his wife and kids would visit for lunch (or go out with us for lunch), she would seat her kids at one end of the table and sit at the other end--effectively making her kids someone else's problem. I stopped going to lunches that I knew they would show up to, and was pretty unhappy when surprised by their arrival (as I'd always seem to end up next to the kids). When my wife/kids join my coworkers for lunch, my kids sit at one end of the table, my wife and I sit next to them, and then the other adults sit next to us. We don't want or expect others to deal with our children.