[notfarnow]

thanks for the kind words everyone, and thanks Sidney for posting this. Sidney saw my post on FB and has stayed in touch since it happened earlier in the week. The time difference makes a difference... I'm 4 time zones away so there have been a few nights where my mind is racing @ 1-2 am and he's has been online to chat with. It's helped a lot

The house is a total loss, but I don't really give a ****. I was supposed to have my kids that night but my ex swapped nights and I had been super cranky about that... but it turns out it prevented an unthinkable alternative... I just don't let my mind go there. I *barely* made it out alone, and once I was outside the house was engulfed in a matter of minutes. Going back in and seeing the kids bedrooms is disturbing. Enough about that though, because there is too much to be grateful for to spend time thinking about what could have happened.

I've settled into a hotel for the interem, and I'm not thinking about anything beyond the next week at this point. I have my kids 50% of the time, and so they still have a lot of stability and a lot of their stuff. Since tge fire, on my kid days, I've just been taking them after school until bedtime, then dropping them at their moms. I need to get a bit more settled and sleeping better before I have them overnight. I also want to get some stuff that's familiar to them in the rooms here at the hotel, before they spend time here.

People keep saying, "oh you'll get tired of hotel living real fast". I don't think those people know me that well. Last night I was laying in bed having a beer, and had a craving for french fries. Pressed "0" on the phone, and 15 mins later I'm javing a beer and eating french fries in bed. Just got back here a few mins ago and the bed is made, there are no french fries on the floor, and the bathroom is clean. It's like friggin magic.

When I have a bit more time this weekend, I'll give the lowdown on the night it happened.

Thanks again for all the kind words