[sammyg2]

First morning on her new job in a hardware store a man approached her. “I need a flat bastard.”

“Cad!” She slapped him and he rushed out.

The manager was aghast, but she explained the customer swore at her, so he just shook his head and went back to his business as another man approached her.

“I need a flat bastard.”

“Cad!” She slapped him and he ran from the store.

This time, the manager questioned her and she explained the offending language.

“Ahh. It’s okay. They were asking for bastard files. See,” pointing to a bin of files, “Those are called bastard files.”

She apologized, and he went back to work. Another customer approached her. “I need a file.”

“How about one of these flat bastards?” Glowing with new-found knowledge.

“No, I think I’ll take this little round son-of-a-*****.”