I am quite aware, like GH85Carerra (Glen) and others, just what a fortunate son I was.
My wife's experience was exactly the opposite of mine: Angry, bitter loveless sumps for parents who both exacted a pitiless toll on my wife. What they inadvertently created was an accomplishment machine who earned her way out: All A's, scholarships, marrying the man of her dreams
I remain fortunate, and I thank you all for this forum. My OP was during an odd moment of reflection when I thought I could reach out and touch something that no longer is.
Best to all.