Quote:
Originally Posted by sand_man
I really feel for anyone going through this. BTDT, as mentioned elsewhere in this thread!
We initially tried the "married living separately" thing in the same house (for the benefit of the kids); I moved into the guest room. She constantly talked schitt about me to her family and friends...making sure I could hear her conversations. That house was ice cold! Unbearable! When I started looking for an apartment, she found out about it, packed my clothes into garbage bags, and threw me out...this all unfolded in front of my kids. She was actually getting physical during that confrontation; yelling, pushing, slapping! I had to go. For the next two weeks, I pretty much lived all over the place (including my car) until an apartment became available. Those were dark times.
I have long since moved on, but I remember some of those events so vividly. I wonder, does a person ever really get past it? Even being in a a healthy long-term relationship now, I occasionally feel haunted.
|
Seeing that you are asking that question "does a person ever really get past it?" I will attempt to answer it. Likely you will. Problems like those events pop up in your mind because they were stressful so they keep coming back. Easy to say move on but I think that is what a person should do. Who knows what goes on behind closed doors but I think in many cases there are horrendous events but many stay together through thick and thin. These events become less memorable as you immerse yourself in your interests. At the age of 70 I really don't have much interest in conflict. The senses are somewhat dulled. I don't have the energy I had at 60. I think it is necessary to focus on what you have rather than what you don't have.
And don't forget that the next relationship may not be much better than the first.
If a person has not learned anything from a bad marriage then it is easy to repeat the whole process.
I will shut up now. Life is what you make it. It will get better.