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At a town about 30 minutes away from us, a 67 year old woman was burning a pile of trash in her daughter's back yard. That's enough to create a weird picture, but go with it.
She got a little too close to the flame and caught herself on fire (I think the report said she was trying to put out the grass fire that had resulted from her poor decision to burn trash on the ground during a dry, windy day with no hose nearby).
Her bright idea to remedy the situation was to run into a nearby wooded area and set it on fire also.
Firefighters called to the scene found her body in said wooded area.
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- John
"We had a band powerful enough to turn goat piss into gasoline."
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