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you would need to borrow several mature apes or gorillas from the zoo, bring them home and feed them pcp while playing a continuous loop of modern country music to get them pissed off enough to tip and shake a 1k lb. motor
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Now that was funny.

Maybe you could hold onto the dipstick holder with a long piece of vacuum line stuffed thru the dipstick hole, and take the big nut loose that attaches the holder in the side of the pan to open up a bigger hole to go fishing in. I know, its very risky, losing the dipstick holder into the bottom of the pan, and the windage baffle will be in the way, but it's an idea. just make sure the vacuum line is large enough diameter to stay in the hole with some friction.
I've done this on 7.3's to replace the o-ring between the holder and the pan with the engine in the truck.