[legion]

I was driving from Bloomington to Chicago on I-55 North in 2005 in my 1997 F150 V6. It was the Friday before spring break (lots of colleges in Central Illinois), so I knew there would be organized speed traps all over I-55. Sure enough, I come up on an overpass and see the squad car parked right over the northbound side. I know every place cops can sit on I-55 and I'd already slowed down to 65 mph before I was in sight of the overpass, so I wasn't worried. A few cars full of college kids did fly past me on the right. Well, I go under the overpass and glance right and sure enough there are around 10 squad cars waiting for the signal to go. As I reach the point where the downramp merges with my lane, I'm damn near hit by a cop doing triple digits who is clearly excited to catch one of the college kids.

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A buddy of mine is a pharmacist. He used to work the overnight shift at one of the local pharmacy chains and drive home to his rural home 15 miles outside of town when his shift was over. One night, he's driving through the main road in town to get to the interstate when he has a green light and goes through and intersection. He is t-boned by a cop doing a high rate of speed who has run his red light without lights or sirens on. At the scene, he is given a ticket for failing to yield to an emergency vehicle. The next Monday, he tries to start the insurance process where he is informed that the city is going after him for damages to the squad car and claims that he hit the squad car, not the other way around. After 8 months, the city finally produces the intersection video of the accident: It shows his car entering the intersection on a green light, goes black for 45 seconds, and then shows the cars at their final resting spots.

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And because I told the above story, I feel obliged to tell this one:

About a year ago, I was driving through a twisty, semi-residential street in town in moderate traffic. Sudden the car in front of me moves out of the way so I accelerate in the now open lane ahead of me. The next thing I know, I've got flashing lights behind me. I pull over onto a side road and wait.

The officer approaches my car: "Do you know how fast you were going?"

Me: "No, but I'm sure it was entirely too fast."

He collects my license and proof of insurance and heads back to the squad car. Under my breath, I say: "I knew this car was going to get me in trouble."

When he returns, he hands me my license and such and asks again: "Do you know how fast you were going?"

I reply: "No, I was not looking at the speedometer."

Him: "You were doing 46 in a 30. Do you have kids?"

Me: "Yes I do."

Him: "How would you feel if someone drove down your street like this?"

Me: "I'd probably call the police myself, to be honest. Clearly, this was a stupid thing to do."

Him: "Uh huh. Just slow down. There are plenty of country roads if you want to have some fun. Here is a written warning."

Me: "Thank you officer."

And guess what? I watch my speed on residential streets in town.