[widebody911]

I lived with a girl for a few years, and then we broke up and she moved out. For almost a year I was getting calls for her, mostly from fund-raising organizations, because she was the type to kick a few bucks to anyone with a good story.

The only thing that worked was to start telling callers that she was dead. I made up some good tales, like the A/C adapater for her vibrator that shorted out and electrocuted her - "But she went out with a smile on her face..."

On a similar note, I think I removed myself from the Sacramento Bee's calling list, after the 3rd call in one week - even after explicitly telling them to put me on their DNC list, I said to the poor girl that got me the 3rd time: "Can you hang on a minute; I need to get my pants off and find the hand creme..." *click*

Yes, I'm in the running for the BOFH...