[Por_sha911]

Originally Posted by john70t

Only $19M/yr.
"Help Help I'm being thoroughly oppressed!
I don't even have enough money to hire a few of my own kind.
I will now [not]stand up and become the figurehead of resistance to the system that holds people like me down."

Please Read immediately. You can help!

Since September 11, 2001, Americans have come together as never before in
our generation. We have banded together to overcome tremendous adversity. We
have weathered direct attacks on our own soil, wars overseas, corporate
scandal, layoffs, unemployment, stock price plunges, droughts, fires, and a
myriad of economic and physical disasters both great and small. But now, we
must come together once again to overcome our greatest challenge yet.



Many NFL players like Colin Kaepernick in our very own nation are living in despicable living conditions of hatred, discrimination and, worst of all, barely above the seven-figure salary level. Poor Colin has been so weakened by the conditions he lives in that he can barely stand up for the national anthem in the country that made him so rich.


For only $20,835 a month, about $694.50 a day (that's less than the cost of a large screen projection TV) you can help an NFL player like Colin remain economically viable during his time of need. This contribution by no means solves the problem to fix his ungrateful butt but it's a start and every little bit will help!



Although $700 may not seem like a lot of money to you, to players like Colin it could mean the difference between spending his money on crutches or possibly another Ferrari and a Mediterranean cruise. For you, seven hundred dollars is nothing more than a month's rent, half a mortgage payment, two unemployment checks, or a month of medical insurance with COBRA, but to Colin, $700 will help supplement his salary. That's right. Your commitment of less than $700 a day will enable an NFL player like Colin to buy that home entertainment center, trade in the year-old Lexus for a new Ferrari, or enjoy a weekend in Rio.



HOW WILL I KNOW I'M HELPING?



Each month, you will receive a complete financial report on the player you
sponsor. Detailed information about his stocks, bonds, 401(k), real estate,
and other investment holdings will be mailed to your home. Plus, upon
signing up for this program, you will receive an unsigned photo of the
player lounging on a beach somewhere in the Caribbean (for
a signed photo, please include an additional $150). Put the photo on your
refrigerator to remind you of other peoples' suffering.



HOW WILL HE KNOW I'M HELPING?



Your NFL player will be told that he has a SPECIAL FRIEND who just wants to
help in a time of need. Although the player won't know your name, he will be
able to make collect calls to your home via a special operator in case
additional funds are needed for unforeseen expenses.



YES, I WANT TO HELP!



I would like to sponsor an NFL player. My preference is checked below:



[ ] Quarterback [ ] Linebacker [ ] Halfback [ ] Fullback [ ] Tight End [ ] Wide Receiver
[ ] Entire team (Please call our 900 number to ask for the cost of a specific team -
$10 per minute)



Please charge the account listed below $694.50 per day for a player.
Please send me a picture of the player I have sponsored, along with a
Colin Kaepernick 2015 Income Statement and my very
own ISIS pin to wear proudly on my hat (include $80 for hat).



Your Name: _______________________

Telephone Number: ____________________

Account Number: _____________________ Exp.Date:_______

[ ] MasterCard [ ] Visa [ ] American Express [ ] Discover

Signature: _______________________



Alternate card (when the primary card exceeds its credit limit):

Account Number: _____________________Exp.Date:_______

[ ] MasterCard [ ] Visa [ ] American Express [ ] Discover

Signature: _______________________



Mail completed form or call, 1-900-SCREW-AMERICA
now to enroll by phone ($10 per minute).



Disclaimer: Sponsors are not permitted to contact the player they have
sponsored, either in person or by other means including, but not limited to,
telephone calls, letters, e-mail, or third parties. Contributions are not
tax-deductible.