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Sounds like you want to want a Mini, which is fine. But you'll hate working on it. I've had more cars that I can count, including terrible cars to DIY like Audis and 951s. I DIY everything. The Mini is my least favorite because of the stupidity of design and cheapness of parts.
Your comment on Mazda, btw, leads me to believe you haven't driven the right Mazdas. Go test drive a Mazdaspeed3 or RX8, which has rear suicide doors and will seat 4 adults. The RX8 is a scalpel of a car, and the Mazdaspeed3 is on par with every other hot hatch that you've mentioned.
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‘07 Mazda RX8
Past: 911T, 911SC, Carrera, 951s, 955, 996s, 987s, 986s, 997s, BMW 5x, C36, C63, XJR, S8, Maserati Coupe, GT500, etc
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