[legion]

So after setting dates three times and not hearing from him, Bob contacted me in July and said he was in town and asked if I could grab a bite that evening. I said sure. I met up with him and had dinner, we each paid for our own meal.

On the plus, Bob owns a house, is married, and has a kid. He has managed to hold down the same job for 5 years. (When I previously saw him, he had never held down a job for 5 months and in high school he had trouble keeping one for five days.)

On the minus side, it's clear that he doesn't care about wasting other people's time. He still depends on other people to tell him when he should do things. I imagine his coworkers shoulder most of his workload.

He's asked me to take him shooting. The easiest way for me to deal with this is to tell him "yes" and then simply not follow through. (Telling him "no" might actually motivate him.) He's texted me three times asking for dates that I can take him. I give him a date, and the date passes. A few weeks later he asks for another one. I figure I'm doing him a favor, so I'm not going to babysit him and remind him. Knowing that he doesn't respect my time, I also make no effort to keep the date open. I give him a date 3 weeks to two months out that is open at the time I give it. If something else comes up along the way, I do that instead. In the off chance he actually tries to hold me to a date, it's TFB. I'm definitely not going to bother with rearranging anything for his sake. We've never even gotten to the point of discussing a time and a place.