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I’ll offer a contrarian opinion.
1. Don’t get a puppy.
They nip. Ours right now is going through the wants to mouth everything stage. That’s bad enough for my kids - who aren’t scared of and have always had dogs. I would be loathe to introduce same to a kid that’s scared of them.
2. Get something low energy. Again we get back to the fear thing. A dog that jumps, or worse jumps up can be scary for kids. One of ours was called Bouncer - pre kids. He wouldn’t have been a good choice as an adolescent dog in a house with any children. As he got older he was perfect.
We have bigger dogs and I’m not a fan of little ones, but for you I’d recommend something smaller. A lot smaller. Something like a Cavalier King Charles. Yes it’s a lap dog but they are affectionate and good with kids, and most important not especially scary.
Caveat - all our dogs are rescues. I’d say try that but make sure it wasn’t abused. They can have issues
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