Assisted living for an elderly parent questions...

[flipper35]

Originally Posted by Por_sha911

+1 There are some communities that have Retirement, Assisted Living, and nursing home all on the same complex. The advantage is that as she progresses to needing the next level it is a very smooth transition.

As others have said, do the math. It ain't cheap.

I disagree with letting her stay at home. You have to plan for the next level of need before it becomes a crisis and you are scrambling to find someplace to take her immediately (and possibly forcing you to take less than your first choice).

As far as where to go... pick a place where someone can check in on her on a very regular basis. My wife's parents spent a short while in assisted living (a top of the line place)and the hard cold fact is that the residents who have family regularly checking on them and their care (at least once a week) get far better care. Sad but true. Pick someplace that someone responsible can visit (not just call), check things out, and ask questions.

Not that we are in your area, but this is us. We are 501c3 not for profit and it can be pricey but we also run off of donations to help people as well. We do independent, assisted, skilled nursing, rehab (in patient, out patient), memory/dementia care and everyone (well, almost since the last survey was only 92%) that comes to stay appreciates they get to stay at the same facility with the staff they are familiar with and the friends they make. Even the short term rehab almost always come back later in life when having a house is too much for them. We have yet to have to turn someone away for financial reasons.

It is a good option for those that want to move from a house to apartment and follow a continuum of care.

It isn't the right thing for everyone. I couldn't do it because I don't like to be around people, but for others it is a great way to remain social.

There is my biased info for you.

[Jim2]

To the op, if she does end up going into assisted living and you tour different facilities, be sure to ask what is or is not included, AND the cost. The promoted monthly rental rates get bouyed up with the subtle surprise extras.

How long is the rent rate fixed for?
Laundry service included?
Does laundry service only cover bedding or residents clothes/towels as well?
Charge for labeling residents clothes
Cost of spare keys for family members
Who supplies laundry soap
a$$wipe provided or resident supplied
cable
phone
internet
bi weekly cleaning
If they provide some cleaning-expect to pay outsiders to do real cleaning.
charge for visitors meals?
How about credit for resident skipped meals
There is more I'm forgetting but someone else might recall.

In the end, this stuff is nickle and dime but may catch some off guard if dealing with a limited budget.

Oh, the rental rates can be all over the map, look poor.

[SCadaddle]

Ask around locally to where you intend to have your elderly parent reside. One of the best places to ask would be the "swing bed rehab" outfits. See who they refer as many of the swing bed patients routinely rotate in and out of the assisted living community. Can't stress enough two of the aforementioned suggestions: Follow your nose for cleanliness and make sure it is a place either you or someone in your family/extended family can visit very frequently.....at the drop of a hat without notice. NO doubt, those that have visitors often WILL get more attention from the staff.

I could have John Grisham write a novel about my Dad's last 18 months, where his children from out of town basically attempted to dispose of him in a hospice for the first 8 months at about 8k/month to the last 7 months where he enjoyed an assisted living environment at about 3k/month and made some new friends. Since his passing, I still occasionally visit the Assisted Living Home where he passed away. The gentleman in the apartment next to him is a smoker and I take him a pack of smokes when I visit. And he's usually wearing one of my Dad's old shirts as we donated all of his clothes to the facility after he passed away. I got lucky and found a very caring place for my Dad to wind down his life, I hope you can as well. I tell his friends in the place to hang on another few years when I'll be 60 and I can get my own place amongst them.