My dad... again.

[jhynesrockmtn]

So sorry for your situation.

I've typed this out before as a cautionary tale. I'll try and keep it brief. My ex and I are still good friends and support each other. I just recently attended her Dad's funeral. Retired Naval Captain with 34+ years of service. Retired with no debt, paid cash for a wonderful custom built home with shop on 20 acres when he retired in the early to mid 90's. It's all gone.

As he descended into behavior that was driven by un-diagnosed dementia and probably some untreated mental health issues his second wife left him. He had always had a tendency to self medicate by buying stuff and drinking. That got way worse. He eventually mortgaged his home to pay credit card bills and it snowballed from there. As he got more desperate, he borrowed money from my ex and didn't pay it back. Their relationship soured and she eventually had to pull away.

She had tried over the years to get some control over his finances so she could step in and help. Instead of letting her in, he rejected any of those efforts and became a victim of scammers. The scammers seemed to multiply once one got their hooks into him. I remember one time him telling me the sales person from the local MB store had called. They had a customer return a car and now couldn't sell it new. If he would wire them $5,000 they would deliver it to his house. He did stuff like this several times.

He died with all of his assets and possessions gone including his gun collection, etc. It was his to lose I guess so there is that. The breakdown of the relationships was maybe more costly. Hard to know. In the end cops, judges and guardians were involved.

These situations are so unique to each person. Tough times for sure. I feel for you. This feels like when we took away my Mom's car. My sister and I couldn't live with the thought she'd run someone over and we knew she was impaired. She's still pissed a couple of years later. Do you step in when you know he is risking himself and others? Does he have much in the way of assets to lose?