i am at a Crossroad.

[Shaun @ Tru6]

It would have to be a TON of money to make afternoon fishing a memory.

Quality of life isn't about money or power or advancement as long as you are secure which it sounds like you are.

The hour commute alone might be enough for me to pass. Giving up fishing after work? F that.

[wdfifteen]

Originally Posted by vash

anyone of you turn away from a promotions and didnt regret it??

Yes. I was an aerospace engineer having the time of my life in a systems support/materials eval lab. I got promoted to an office down the hall from my lab where all the fun was going on (breaking airplane parts on purpose for the most part!). After the promo I sat in the office for six months and saw my future.

It was in another office upstairs somewhere.

After six months I quit my job and started my own company doing something I was far more interested in.

I was told by absolutely everyone that I was a fool.

But I was happier at my work and my quality of life was 100% improved. I got out of bed looking forward to every day. In the end I became more financially secure than I would have if I had stayed at my job, but it was the improvement in my quality of life that I cherish most.

[Rot 911]

You couldn’t pay me enough to commute 1 hour each way for work.

[A930Rocket]

When I was younger, I would’ve taken the promotion but now, no way.

Enjoy your life, lunch at home and fishing in the afternoons!

[Bill Douglas]

Ur a young man, you need to make as much money as you can - while you can in other words. Make hay when the sun shines etc.

[ramonesfreak]

^^^^^ that’s one way of looking at it. i would rather have less money at the end and would prefer to have more time and less stress while i’m young, if you call 50 young


p.s. in my twenties up to i think 33, i commuted 1.5 hours each way to the office every working day. maybe 6 years of this. could never do that now. the past 9 years howvwer, i did drive back and forth across new york state almost every day but that felt like more of an adventure…always going somewhere different. now, and hour to and from the office, no way would i do it

now if your talking about $50k - $100k raise, i might change my mind. for $20k more, no thanks. ide do more fishing

[gsxrken]

I took one promotion because otherwise I would be reporting to someone who really had an issue with me. I took it, figuring a. better me than him and b. that the problem would probably solve itself, as now he would report to me and he would leave. He did.

Years later, funny enough, I ran into him and he apologized for being such a dick “back in the day”. I said “hey, whatever… good to see you again” and he said “no, really- I spent the early part of my career with a real chip on my shoulder, and I was particularly jealous of you”. I was quite surprised but I told him I respected him for saying that, and that I’m sure I could have handled it differently too.

[sc_rufctr]

Nobody knows the future and there's no better security than money in the bank.

If it was me: I would go for the promotion & extra money.
- As time passes, everything becomes normal and everything is temporary.

[Seahawk]

Two key sentences in what you wrote, Vash, at least in my opinion:

Originally Posted by vash

it is tough to imagine going backwards to the regular grind. i have peeked behind the curtain, and i made a difference in my short time so far.

That should help with your decision.

Then you offered:

Originally Posted by vash

I took it as a positive sign that i didn't suck during my short term. he also said he would transfer me to my home-town when that position opens. maybe 2 years from now.

While not a guarantee, that should also help you with your decision. I can do two years, as the saying goes, standing on my head.

In my first chosen profession there was little stability beyond the next shore tour. I did not get married until I was in my 30's, mostly because it is hard to find the right woman to put up with the Navy and me at the same time

But I loved what I was doing and felt like I was making a difference.

I won't go into the whole litany, but in the first 12 years of our marriage I was either deployed or only making it home for weekends for 6 years. Not optimum but we did it because we were in it together and made it work. Mix in two kids as well.

That is the part that is missing: You didn't mention your wife. I never made a decision of this magnitude without her, still don't. I am not suggesting you haven't, but I found great solace in making sure it was a "we" decision.

One last thing. If you do decide to work with a commute for two years or so (and you will have leverage, btw, when the job opens up near you since you will kick ass) I recommend books on tape/CD or Rosetta Stone.

Best of luck in whatever you decide.

BTW, I left a job in the Pentagon as a SES because of the commute and the fact that I had kids in HS, so WTF do I know

[Seahawk]

Can't help myself:

[Drbraunsr]

Originally Posted by tabs

All i care about is regularity and watching reruns of Gun Smoke.

...and Wagon Train.

[masraum]

Originally Posted by vash

i dont need the money. that isnt my motivation at all. the commute makes my afterwork fishing trip a distant memory. i cannot get home on time. no home lunches, no home court advantage with bathroom visits.

i am really wrestling with this. more $$, more responsibility, more stress, less free time, yada yada yada.

it is tough to imagine going backwards to the regular grind. i have peeked behind the curtain, and i made a difference in my short time so far.

anyone of you turn away from a promotions and didnt regret it??

Which position made you happier and more fulfilled?

In the bold above, I see what looks like "I don't want to go back to what I was doing, because I've been happier (albeit much busier) in what I've been doing than what I was doing before."

But I also see a lot of downsides listed, 1 hour commute, more stress, less free/home/happy time.

[jhynesrockmtn]

I'm 58 now. Close to 2 years ago I was thinking about a future part time career move, at that time planning for 4-5 more years of managing a large team, crappy govt. contracts, a fair bit of travel and working for a guy i didn't have a lot of respect for. I tripped over a part time gig with full benefits. It cut my income in half but I really like the people I work with, benefits are good and money is enough. I manage my schedule, spend more time with my lovely wife and hobbies, etc. I wouldn't go back at this point. Now if I was 48, I'd still be taking the bigger check.

[Shaun @ Tru6]

on going back to the grind. it's the grind because you've done it for years. the new temp gig is, well, new and exciting. but it will become the grind. And with all the extra stress and less free time, it will almost certainly become the GRIND.

Injecting stress into your life and decreasing time for you and your wife, for the benefit of others, does not typically end well.

Something to think about.

[KFC911]

Everyone is very different... as posted earlier, only Vash can know which path is better for him.

For me.... a 1 hr commute would have never put me at "the crossroad" he's at .

I was a techie's techie in high tech my whole career .... and "passed" on the management path when I was in my mid-20s. No regrets either .... but unlike Cliff, I would have royally sucked at it and I went fishin' instead

No regerts here!

[porsche4life]

Is there a third option to this scenario? You mentioned you might be able to transfer back home in 2years. Would it be possible to go back home and work in your old role for the next 2 years, and then promo when that role comes available? I know adding 2 years to the clock brings more variables, but there’s ways to stay fresh on the job and keep yourself top of mind for with management in that time.

[vash]

thanks you all. you all made me think of stuff i had not considered.

mainly, the FUTURE. while i dont need the money now, nothing but good can come of bolstering my future money.

[flipper35]

I would take family time over money any day of the week.

[911 Rod]

We know you like fishing, but do you like your wife or the job more?

[Por_sha911]

Originally Posted by sc_rufctr

Nobody knows the future and there's no better security than money in the bank.

At the risk of sounding like Tabs, there are no guarantees that the money will be worth anything. Hyperinflation has happened many times. Post war Germany for starters. A wheelbarrow of money bought a loaf of bread. I won't discuss where our country is headed and why.

What good is more money if you have not time or energy to enjoy it? I know folks who have tons of money and bad health (mentally and physically) from stress and overwork.

Also, based on what you have endured, can you trust that the company won't dump two jobs on you like before since now you are committed? If it was OK to do it once and it worked out...

What's that old expression? No one on their deathbed will say "I wish I spent more time working at the office"