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varmint 12-07-2022 06:13 PM

wealth
 
the experiment begins,

my mother in law died a few months ago, we are sorting out the estate and selling the house. the will dictates that the money be divided between the two surviving kids. that means my wife and her brother. this is where it gets interesting.

my brother in law is a career junkie felon POS. i just wired him the first 100k.


will update as information comes in.

sc_rufctr 12-07-2022 06:20 PM

I really hope the money helps your BIL straighten out his life.

varmint 12-07-2022 06:22 PM

my wife and the small grim christian part of me know we should have hope.

but....

pwd72s 12-07-2022 06:30 PM

Should we make a pool on when he O.D.'s?

dw1 12-07-2022 06:33 PM

Was there any restriction such that you couldn't "give" him the money in the form of an irrevocable trust?

speeder 12-07-2022 06:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sc_rufctr (Post 11867556)
I really hope the money helps your BIL straighten out his life.

Money has never "straightened out" anyone's life in the history of money. Wtf are you talking about? :confused:

sc_rufctr 12-07-2022 06:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by speeder (Post 11867572)
Money has never "straightened out" anyone's life in the history of money. Wtf are you talking about? :confused:

I agree with your post... The money will "most likely" make things worse but I was trying to be positive for the OP's sake.

Obvious post warning: Imagine giving someone money knowing they will "piss it up the wall".

KFC911 12-07-2022 06:48 PM

Oh yeah .... this is going to end splendidly ... or not...

Arizona_928 12-07-2022 06:51 PM

He'll either die with a needle in the arm or buy a cheap house....

I feel you have little faith in humanity

varmint 12-07-2022 06:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dw1 (Post 11867568)
Was there any restriction such that you couldn't "give" him the money in the form of an irrevocable trust?



It’s “his money”. A year ago I tried to talk the MIL, aka the enabler, into setting up a trust. It never got done. I’m trying to distribute the inheritance as fast as possible and walk away. Just having my bank account touch his bank account makes me feel unclean.

He is an unkillable cockroach. 48 and a hard core drug user since his teens. But we are taking bets on when he’s broke and calls begging for money.

There is an upside. My kid despises drugs and drug users.

Scott Douglas 12-07-2022 06:55 PM

Is it too late to take out a life insurance policy on him?
I don't see this ending well at all.

varmint 12-07-2022 06:56 PM

The estate in mid range substantial. I would have to get creative to squander that much in a year. We will see. He’s in the lower 48. Takes a while for information to come in. Will post updates as they come in.

speeder 12-07-2022 06:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scott Douglas (Post 11867593)
Is it too late to take out a life insurance policy on him?
I don't see this ending well at all.

I like the way you think...glass half full kind of guy! :)

KFC911 12-07-2022 07:01 PM

Pay him in Bitcoins ..... problem solved ;)!

sc_rufctr 12-07-2022 07:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KC911 (Post 11867596)
Pay him in Bitcoins ..... problem solved ;)!

Dogecoin? ;)

Rick Lee 12-07-2022 07:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scott Douglas (Post 11867593)
Is it too late to take out a life insurance policy on him?
I don't see this ending well at all.

I was just going to suggest this. Though being a junkie will make it nearly impossible to get anything that would pay if he dies in the first two years of a policy.

varmint 12-07-2022 07:18 PM

He’d need to sign off on the policy. And I’d have to establish a financial connection wherein his death would inconvenience us.

Nice try though.

Rick Lee 12-07-2022 07:20 PM

You could lie about absolutely anything (except his b-day) and even forge his signature. If you can get him approved and he makes it two more years, you collect, no questions asked. You didn't hear this from me.

varmint 12-07-2022 07:24 PM

If I was truly a bastard I’d call a few of the dealers he screwed over back in the day. He’d end up in a crab pot and we’d pocket the rest of the inheritance.

Arizona_928 12-07-2022 07:25 PM

2 years is the standard, eh

dan88911 12-07-2022 08:03 PM

Good luck

juanbenae 12-07-2022 08:14 PM

you screwed up giving him $100k all at once before you got this policy. you could have dicked him around giving it out a bit at a time, like 10k a month "for his own good". when he was jonesing like the tinman in week 3 of every month he would have signed his life away for $25....

unless he knows where you live.

Bill Douglas 12-07-2022 08:57 PM

He might be a druggie ands a loser but it is his inheritance to do what he wants with it.

Not your responsibility to see that he spends it wisely. Sad, but it's his life.


I have a couple of sisters who are losing their inheritance money through stupidity and there s nothing I can do. Do to help them I mean. Frustrating, but sadly that is life.

pwd72s 12-07-2022 09:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bill Douglas (Post 11867646)
He might be a druddie ands a loser but it is his inheritance to do what he wants with it.

Not your responsibility to see that he spends it wisely. Sad, but it's his life.


I have a couple of sisters who are losing their inheritance money through stupidity and there s nothing I can do. Do to help them I mean. Frustrating, but sadly that is life.

Well, that's true. But how could we have fun with this if we all had your attitude?:rolleyes:

cstreit 12-07-2022 09:12 PM

Honestly you’re just the messenger. You can’t fix addiction and trying to straighten him out will only lead to your own misery. Split the money and walk.

Sorry you have to be the executor of enablement.

911 Rod 12-08-2022 07:43 AM

It's his money and his life.
He'll feel like a King until ......

Seahawk 12-08-2022 08:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cstreit (Post 11867650)
Honestly you’re just the messenger. You can’t fix addiction and trying to straighten him out will only lead to your own misery. Split the money and walk.

Sorry you have to be the executor of enablement.

There it is, the last line especially.

I asked to be removed as the executor on a wealthy friend's estate...he is unfortunately a prescription medicine junkie, hooked like you read about and I tried to help.

Don't. Whatever happens next is not your issue.

Best.

LWJ 12-08-2022 08:03 AM

Money will only accelerate his tragedy. What a waste.

masraum 12-08-2022 08:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by varmint (Post 11867554)
the experiment begins,

my mother in law died a few months ago, we are sorting out the estate and selling the house. the will dictates that the money be divided between the two surviving kids. that means my wife and her brother. this is where it gets interesting.

my brother in law is a career junkie felon POS. i just wired him the first 100k.


will update as information comes in.

Wow, that's not going to go well. Hopefully (I assume), he survives the windfall.

masraum 12-08-2022 08:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cstreit (Post 11867650)
Honestly you’re just the messenger. You can’t fix addiction and trying to straighten him out will only lead to your own misery. Split the money and walk.

Sorry you have to be the executor of enablement.

Thank goodness the junkie isn't the executor.

jamesnmlaw 12-08-2022 08:21 AM

Be sure to do exactly what is specified in the will to avoid the likelihood that BIL will go thru the money quickly and thereafter sue the estate for more money.

You might want to look into having a conservator appointed to manage the BIL's funds. Good argument that BIL does not have capacity. Also, the money, and your BIL, are easy pickens in the drug world.

tabs 12-08-2022 10:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scott Douglas (Post 11867593)
Is it too late to take out a life insurance policy on him?
I don't see this ending well at all.

OHHH!! So that is why my cousins took out a life insurance policy on me...well I sure as he11 fooled them they have been paying on it for over 30 years... They would have probably made a better ROI if they had invested all those premiums instead. I guess their attitude is in for a penny in for a pound.

varmint 12-08-2022 11:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jamesnmlaw (Post 11867942)
Be sure to do exactly what is specified in the will to avoid the likelihood that BIL will go thru the money quickly and thereafter sue the estate for more money.

You might want to look into having a conservator appointed to manage the BIL's funds. Good argument that BIL does not have capacity. Also, the money, and your BIL, are easy pickens in the drug world.



Mostly I’m trying to prepare for a worst case taxes scenario. I’m holding money back because I’m sure he’s not going to pay his share.

My MIL, the enabler, set it up this way. That’s how im going to do it. If he objects I wish him luck finding a lawyer willing to take his case.

He made serious enemies when he was dealing back in the day. One of the big smuggling families out of Ketchikan wanted him dead. If they find out he has money he’d better run.

dad911 12-08-2022 11:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by varmint (Post 11867554)
.....
my brother in law is a career junkie felon POS. i just wired him the first 100k.
.....

Know the laws in your state. My mother died in June. Nothing gets distributed until we settle the entire estate and beneficiaries sign-off. Still trying to liquidate some funds, they are clawing onto them. Her estate was easy also, no house or other real estate.

I suspect once she died, he becomes the beneficiary and if something happens to him now, the money goes to his estate.

tabs 12-08-2022 01:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by varmint (Post 11868139)
Mostly I’m trying to prepare for a worst case taxes scenario. I’m holding money back because I’m sure he’s not going to pay his share.

My MIL, the enabler, set it up this way. That’s how im going to do it. If he objects I wish him luck finding a lawyer willing to take his case.

He made serious enemies when he was dealing back in the day. One of the big smuggling families out of Ketchikan wanted him dead. If they find out he has money he’d better run.

If any taxes were left due I wouldn't have sent him a dime...

EVERYTHING HAS TO BE SETTLED AND RESOLVED BEFORE A DIME IS DISTRIBUTED.. If not somebody is going to get fked on this one...


After all bills are paid and the net is determined..he gets half and sis gets half of what is left.. Thenyou are done...and he can go to he11...

NYNick 12-09-2022 08:16 AM

Better withhold $10K for the funeral.

Rick Lee 12-09-2022 08:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Arizona_928 (Post 11867615)
2 years is the standard, eh

Two years is standard contestability in every state. After that, companies will even cover suicide. But there's no questions asked after two yrs. Submit claim, get check a few days later. It's that simple. The only thing that can change is if you lied about your b-day, and they will still pay then, but based on what your premium would have gotten you based on the correct b-day. The benefit of what I do is generally immediate coverage with no waiting period. Lots of companies out there have a two year wait, no one ever reads their paperwork and so healthy people sign up for those policies, not knowing any better. Those healthy people balance out the risk the companies carry with the unhealthy people. I can't tell you how often I get into a home, dig into their paperwork and see they're still not covered due to the two yr wait, but easily qualify for something better and cheaper.

red 928 12-09-2022 02:02 PM

His money, his life, his business.

Bob Kontak 12-09-2022 02:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by juanbenae (Post 11867637)
you screwed up giving him $100k all at once before you got this policy. you could have dicked him around giving it out a bit at a time, like 10k a month "for his own good". when he was jonesing like the tinman in week 3 of every month he would have signed his life away for $25....

unless he knows where you live.

No he did not screw up. His wife got $100k. Her brother got $100k. ASAP which is what varmint chose to do.

If you have integrity you don't play shenanigans.

You would do the same thing if it was your family, s**t asses included. You know I am right.

Bob Kontak 12-09-2022 02:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Seahawk (Post 11867924)
hooked like you read about and I tried to help.

Don't. Whatever happens next is not your issue.

Well stated.

Not enabling is brutally hard. Totally against human nature.


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