Spent the Night in the ER
 

With a dislocated right hip. This is my new, aftermarket hip (the left is still OEM), installed five years ago. I've felt a little "pop" in it about four or five times in the last several months, but it always stayed in place. Last night is just let go.

I was in the driveway washing my bicycle, of all things. I simply squatted a bit and twisted to my right to pick up the spritzer bottle I had set down beside me. No real load on it other than me, just an odd angle.

Boy did that freaking hurt. When it happened, my phone squirted out of the pocket of my gym shorts and skittered under the front of the car. I couldn't reach it and I couldn't move. I couldn't even crawl. And I was laying in the sun, on a driveway paved with bright white-ish pavers, just baking. I decided I should head for the open garage door and both get out of the sun and try to get something to drink. I was pretty dehydrated by then, having stayed there now for about two hours, unable to move. Funny, several neighbors drove by and must have seen me, but, well, Higgins is often seen laying in the driveway next to a car...

So I finally managed to slither like a snake into the garage and drag myself up using the crash bars on the Road King. I couldn't put any weight on my right foot, and my leg was dangling at a weird angle. The refrigerator, where I keep big bottles on seltzer water, was clear across the garage. No way in hell... Then I remembered I had been at the track this weekend and had not yet cleaned out the 911, which was close enough to reach and had several unopened bottles of that seltzer water. What a Godsend.

So here I am, in the garage around the corner in the shade, with water. Two hours after I fell. And the cell phone was out in the driveway. My wife was not due home for another two and a half hours (she was babysitting our grand daughters). Did I mention that this freaking hurt?

Finally, when she got home, we got a medic and I was whisked off to the ER. Long story short, I was there for five hours, getting x-rays, doctor in and out, etc. He finally sedated me (I was on some mondo pain meds right away anyway). I was out so I missed the show, but my wife tells me that he got up on the gurney and, with a resident putting all of his weight on my left hip, stomped on my hip joint in a surprisingly violent manner. And it popped right back in place.

When I came to and they told me they were successful, I asked the doctor if he could write down a description of how he got it to go back in place. He asked me why, so I told him it was so my two sons could do this for me at home if it ever happens again. He didn't think that was very funny. Besides, he said, you would have no way to sedate yourself. I told him I had a couple good bottles of Scotch. He didn't think that was very funny either.

So, here I sit, with one pretty sore hip. I've got a call in to the surgeon who did it to schedule a consultation. We'll see where it goes from here. I'm very concerned that he won't let me ride my bicycle for awhile. I started in January (after many years of not riding) and now ride five days a week on one 30 mile loop and one 30 mile out and back. I really, really, really don't want to give that up, even temporarily. I've lost 25 pounds so far, my strength and endurance are coming back, and I'm just generally feeling pretty damn good about the whole thing. Hopefully this doesn't prove to be that proverbial "wrench in my spokes". Fingers crossed...

good luck that sounds like it was really rough ride

I’m hoping for a speedy and mostly unpainfuk recovery.

2 hours in the sun… jeebus.

Wow.

It is remarkably painful.

About a year after my left hip was replaced, I was riding my motorcycle when I caught a bee in the forehead. I had a helmet on, but the visor was replaced in favor of Ray Bans.

Yes, I am an idiot.

The bike went down and I thought I'd lay myself down to rest
In a big field of tall grass
I lay there in the sun
And felt it caressing my face
As I fell asleep and dreamed

Until the ambulance came.:D

My wife recounted exactly what your wife described: "Glad you were out...wish I had been."

Best and rest!

Yikes! Glad it wasn't worse, and they were able to kick your ass back into place!

This would have been a good time to have a smart watch. Something strapped to your body that you can use to send texts or make calls even when you can't get to your phone. Kind of like the "I've fallen and I can't get up" button but way better and more useful.

The good news is that your wife got to see the process so she can show the boys how to do it!

Gheez Jeff, what an ordeal. Hope you get some good news from the surgeon. My wife had both of her hips replaced in 2020, 9 months apart. I remember the surgeon warning us about certain movements during the healing process, but I thought there were no restrictions later.

Keep riding the bike. Just don't wash the effing thing. Get someone else to do that ****!.
It's going to take a while for those tissues to recover. Be careful.

I hope you mend quickly. My brother had his hip done a few years ago and is scared to death of it popping out.

Glad it worked out ok but let me suggest considering an Apple Watch with cell service activated. It adds about $10 to my cell bill. I almost never use it to make calls but have it and wear it just in case something like this happens

Sorry this happened to you, Jeff. I have a Ti and ceramic hip, too, and I hope I never have to go through this. Hours flat out on the driveway with mercy only a few unreachable feet away. Damn.
Just damn!

Yep. We got ours because we were running, and used it to play music to headphones, track our run, heart rate, etc... I use it all of the time now for all sorts of things, the timer and all sorts of stuff. I always take it when I go out on the property or to work on the car just in case I need to make an emergency call.

Dang, glad you finally got help. Good thing you’re tough.

Once you get healed up, probably be a good idea to get a real big hose clamp and wrap around both hips so they can’t pop out!

He's just going to have to always wear really tight jeans. LOL! No photos, please.

You’re not an idiot, a bug hitting you in the face at high speed is unexpected and can knock you right off of your horse, (or MC). A pillow can take someone’s head off if it’s going fast enough. I flip my face shield up all the time on my MC when it’s hot out.

Higgins, sorry to hear about this but glad you’re okay now. I actually had a somewhat similar experience last week but for different reasons. The back story is that I had a bout of extreme vertigo a few years ago and wound up in the ER. So last week, I’m laying under my PU truck trying to put the fuel tank back in, (36 gallon plastic tank empty), when I twist the wrong way and get the worst spins I’ve ever had in my life. I honestly could not stand up or really move, I laid there for over an hour before finally calling a friend who shares the space and he was on his way over so I had someone else there.

To make a long story long, I eventually pulled myself up into my truck and just sat for a long time until I was ok to go home. The last time it happened, they ran every test in the book and found nothing. I’ll tell my doctor about it but that’s about it.

Glad you got it handled and glad that you’re getting in shape, that’s on my list.

Wow, not good. Had my hip replaced 2.5 years ago and about 2 weeks post install I slipped on some ice on the patio putting all my weight on the new hardware. More pain from that than any point post surgery and it was nearly unbearable. I had a surgery follow up appointment a few days later that xray were taken before I saw the doctor. When he came in he had a concerned look on his face that grew as I told him what had happened. He said the stud in my femur had been shoved 4mm deeper into the bone.... Scared the heck out of both of us and he said I was lucky it did not blow the femur up

Separated my shoulder back in January far and away the worst pain I'd ever experienced. The morphine was god sent in the ER. Get well.

Higgins that is quite the adventure sure glad you're on the mend .

Damn Jeff, that’s quite the experience! Glad you turned out ok, or at least ok-ish.:) Hope you bounce back quick!

Drugs are good...
There is nothing worse than dislocating a major joint. I'm glad you're not ptsd'd from lying in the driveway. My biggest fear here is that I have no real cell service and rely on wifi calling, and if i have a medical emergency its probably a crapshoot as to whether my spouse finds me or I expire first...

Wishing you well. That sounds absolutely AWFUL.

Damn Guys, be careful out there! Don't want any of you in my current condition...Glad you're out of the ER...

Sounds painful!
Hope you have a full and complete recovery.
More ice packs.

Thanks guys, I really appreciate your thoughts.

You know, this is just so damn funny, or ironic to me. Like many of you, I have engaged in many "hold my beer" stupid stunts over the course of my life. I have somehow escaped injury (or death) in the vast majority of them. I've really pushed those limits at times. So how do I wind up with one of the most painful injuries I've ever had? How do I wind up essentially disabled, lying in the sun, getting dehydrated to the point of the potential for some real trouble?

Washing my god damned bicycle. In my own driveway, on a nice summer afternoon. I'm gonna have to make up some exciting tale of derring do for my five and three year old grand daughters if I'm still hobbling around next time they see me. Any ideas would be appreciated.

Wow. Cell-enabled Apple Watch for you, STAT! And maybe for me.

at least now you're hip to the motion that breaks you.

I know a guy that washes his bike up on a stand. he says, bending over isn't good for him.

I met a real estate agent several years ago that was in a cast. She was a neighbor and chatty. I asked what happened. She said "I did it skiing". I reply something like, yikes, did you hit a tree or land wrong off of a jump? She said "no, my husbands skis got caught in mine coming off of the chair lift". I told her to come up with a better story. You'll come up with something :-)

Hey, I just got out of bed to take a leak...and the next thing I knew I was in an ambulance headed to an ER...father time is a cruel bastid!

Puppies that need to be returned to little kids, 100-year electrical storms and a dirt road over a mountain pass in the middle of the night might be elements you can work with.

Or, the Baja 1000.

Gosh that is humbling for sure. Small goals and build from there.

I think Jeff is up to chapter 1,367 with his stories!

Glad you are ok, Jeff!

Also glad there wasn't too much yammering in the ER, or you weren't able to hear it.

I'm gonna guess that any kind of bike is gonna hurt like hell for a bit.

tall tales to sound good:

-Fell off of the roof fighting off aliens who were trying to take over Earth.

-Wrestling with an angel from God all night long (Genesis 32:22-31 - Jacob wrestled with an angel, the angel touched his hip and put it out of place and then changed his name from Jacob to Israel).

Yikes - I hope you recover and feel better soon. That's no fun.

Good on you for getting active on the bike - I hope the doc lets you keep on it.

And some of them are even true. ;)

Oh, believe me, there was no shortage of yammering. I was just in too much pain to care. Much... Oh, and wailing and gnashing of teeth. Kind of disconcerting, really. I was glad to be behind a curtain so I couldn't see those poor folks as they were getting wheeled on by. I'm sure that several of them were in far worse shape than I was in.

I have a 200 mile loop with some sport bike and sport touring guys this Sunday. That gives me four more days to work out the kinks. And my wife will be out of town, so there is no adult supervision for a few days. We'll see...

Good Night!! That had to hurt... Glad you're okay and were able to get yourself out of the sun.

What an excellent if not extremely painful adventure Jeff, I'm sorry you had to go through it but I'm on the side of a life truly lived. Another good example in the lexicon of stories you've posted here. And very glad you are OK. Kept thinking of I've fallen and I can't get up so maybe get one of those things or an Apple watch for when you are alone. I assume that since you've done it once, there's a greater chance it will happen again. The good news is you are up to the task of fix it. Good luck and keep us posted!

Things you may want to include in the story:

Saving a unicorn from snakes (or snakes from unicorn depending on the girls' predilection)
Helping a butterfly get out of a spider web high up in a tree
Turtle crossing the road (you'll have to add to this one)
Deer hit you while cycling

Three words: Ninja bar fight.

I never considered Old Higgy to be a hippy. But very hippy is he indeedy-do.

Tell them grandgirls you single-handedly stopped a runaway train on your way to Dairy Queen for their Root Beer floats.

Jeff, that was quite an ordeal! I'm happy that you are back on the road to recovery, David