Ugh, Mom is at the end

[wdfifteen]

Thanks for writing. When I think I’m having a bad day I can come back to this and realize what a bad day really is. Wishing the best for you and your family. May God bless you.

[oldE]

Steve
When I PMd you the other day, I didn't clue in to the fact you were several states away from your Mom and family. I apologize for the assumption.
It's days like this when everything seems to pile on and make it worse. I hope you know you can drop some of the crap here and maybe lighten your load.
Thinking about you and your family.

[cabmandone]

I feel for ya man. It doesn't matter how ready you are or not it sucks losing a parent. I lost my mom in March of 2023 after a short fight with PAH and my dad in April of this year after a short fight with stage 4 prostate cancer. You're never ready and it's not easy. I hope you have a strong support group around you and my best advice is to be that strong support for your mom.

[flatbutt]

Sorry for your pain Steve. The fact that many of us have been through this before or how natural a part of life this is doesn't make it any easier on you. But we will be here to help you however we may.

[rfuerst911sc]

Unfortunately it is a situation we all have to deal with at some point . It is never easy . Enjoy the time you have left with your mom the best you can . If you need to talk we are here to support you . Sorry you are going thru this .

[masraum]

Thanks again folks. Plane is getting ready to take off to take me to FL.

[rwest]

Originally Posted by masraum

Thanks again folks. Plane is getting ready to take off to take me to FL.

Safe travels and let your mom know that a whole bunch of people who have never met her are rooting for her!

[Evans, Marv]

Very sorry to hear this. When I read the part about them draining fluid from her lungs, I already suspected bad news was coming. In the late '80s, my next door neighbor went through the same scenario. Do your best to be there for her. We can only hope things are uncomplicated from here on out. Best of luck.

[Rot 911]

Sorry to hear what both you and your mom are going through. Hopefully she will be clearheaded enough when you get there so you can at least have a last chat. I’m sending whatever good karma I have to you and your mom.

[3rd_gear_Ted]

Hopefully you'll be there for some of her last good days that everyone has.
Relive the gratitude you have for your Mom with her, it will soften her heart for the eventuality we all must face. At least she is not alone.

[dlockhart]

I have little to add, but my prayers for you and your mom.

Moms matter.

[William930t]

Steve, sorry to read about the condition of your Mother, I have gone through the same experience with my Mom, passing January 2024 at 95 then Dad in May of this year passed at 99. No doubt the process is tough in so many ways. May the journey be peaceful.

I was having a discussion with my haircutter last night about this (her Mom recently passed) and she brought up something important. We all have photos and keepsakes of our parents, but do you have anything with their voice recorded? It struck me that their legacy is not complete without some reading, singing or storytelling saved. To this day I cherish a digital storybook recording of "Twas the Night Before Christmas" my parents did for my children years ago. May their voice live on.

[JavaBrewer]

Great post William! A voice memo is often overlooked and yet so easy to generate.

Steve, sorry to hear the status of your Mom. I hope this process works out the best for everyone in time and pain.

[A930Rocket]

Thoughts and prayers, to you and your mom, Steve.

[Tobra]

You are never ready for Mom to go.

2 years layer I catch myself thinking about calling to talk. I wonder if that ever goes away

Good point about recording of her voice. I have a voicemail

[masraum]

They were going to drain fluid yesterday, but then they realized that there was no fluid to drain in the right lung. It's just that the right lung is full of growths. The left lung is clear. All of the nurses have told her that she doesn't look sick. I think the theory is that she's not actually ready to go soon (unless something else happens, heart attack, blood clot, etc...). The main reason that she's at my aunt's house (not at hospice, but in hospice care) is because she is weak and was sure that she would eventually fall.
But other than that she's not doing too badly. She's having a problem eating and sleeping but had some sleeping meds which are helping her sleep last night. I think this was the first time she had 8 hours of sleep in a long time.
She's not terribly happy because she thinks that it's going to take a while. I hope it doesn't, but this should be a good visit.

[Cajundaddy]

Sorry Steve. I went through this 2 years a go and it is a hard chapter to endure. Prayers and hope that your hospice team can ease her gently over to the other side with minimal suffering. This is really all that can be hoped for in her final days.

[RANDY P]

I am sorry.

rjp

[Racerbvd]

I just picked up my mother’s ashes today, I found her dead Sunday the 5th of this month, sadly I can relate all to much. This was unexpected, and definitely hits extremely hard. Prayers for your family.

[Baz]

Originally Posted by William930t

--snip--We all have photos and keepsakes of our parents, but do you have anything with their voice recorded? --snip--

Thanks for mentioning this, William.

For many of us, our parents are of "the greatest generation" era and they ABSOLUTELY have stories to share!

Aside from the historical aspects of course most is going to be personal in nature. All good to have on tape.

Quick anecdote. Back in 2023, I arranged a birthday dinner at Mom's house to help celebrate her 100th birthday. She was still living at home on her own.

It was just her, myself, my step-brother and his wife who drove up from South Florida.

I had a really nice birthday cake made by Walmart with a US Navy theme, as she served during WWII.

After dinner, I cleared the dishes except for dessert and we sat at the table and chatted with Mom doing most of the talking! I had my digital camera on 'video mode' and left it on while she talked.

Some of what she said included things I had never even heard before. It was amazing! I have those audio files on my hard drive and although Mom is no longer with us - we can still hear her voice at any time.

You know, I don't even know that she knew she was being recorded. She was just so happy to have some family there with her for her day......