"a woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke".

Rudyard Kippling circa 1890's.

"you may be right, but I know damn well you're wrong".

A wise and worldly guy.

"you know why doors have bathrooms? So we don't get stink on people."

My son - age 6.

"that's what I didn't say..."

My son - age 7.

"I may be drunk, but your ugly, and I'll be sober in the morning!"

- I. Woodintlaya
:)

Matt, the ugly/drunk line is generally attributed to Winston Churchill, of all people. :)

Dan

Thanks for that Dan, you are absolutely correct - that one was bothering me.

It goes something like...

"Madam you are correct, I might be drunk but..."

After having a few drinks, Churchill behaved badly at a social affair at Mary Astors home in New York. Apparently he was overheard telling dirty jokes in mixed company.

Mrs. Astor: "Mr. Churchill! If I were your wife, I'd put poison in your tea."

Churchill: "Ma'am, if you were my wife, I'd drink it."

Moses, that's beautiful. Glad to see I'm not the only nutcase around here. ...


Dan

Another of my favorite Churchills:

A famous playwright of the day, who was not particularly supportive of Winston's political direction, ran across Winston on the street and said, thinking he was clever: "Winston, my newest play is opening on Friday night and I would be proud to leave a pair of tickets at Will Call for you and a friend.....if you have one."

Winston's reply: "Sadly, I am otherwise engaged on Friday evening, but I would be grateful for a pair of tickets to Saturday's performance....if there is one."

THE LIVER IS EVIL AND MUST BE PUNISHED!

Buddy's Drive Thru Liquor

Superman, my fave will always be: (and I can't quote directly, but I'll try)

a woman (don't remember her status) with a less than favorable opinion of Churchill once remarked to him that if she were his wife, she would poison his tea. to which he replied "Madam, if I were your husband, I shall drink it!"

"Good decisions come from experience.

Experience comes from bad decisions."

---Unknown

(One of my faves)

:cool:

Dessert first.

:D

Author unknown: "Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and proclaiming loudly--WOW, what a ride!"

"Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something." -Pancho Villa's last words

"Get out of here and leave me alone. Last words are for fools who haven't said enough already." -Karl Marx's last words

Forbes, March 29, 2004

Bob

Have you and PWD been fishing again?

my sentiments exactly!! the only trick is to make sure that you don't get to that point before reaching the finish line

Do not annoy dragons; you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
Les

Give a man a fish, and he owes you a fish.
Teach a man to fish, and you give up your monopoly on fisheries.

Jules: What does Marcellus Wallace look like?
Brett: What?
Jules: What country you from?
Brett: What?
Jules: "What" ain't no country I ever heard of! They speak English in What?
Brett: What?

say what one more time. I double dare you. I triple dare you

Bring out the gimp
But the gimps sleeping
Well i guess you'er gust gonna havta go and wake him up then, wont ya.