My parents suggested a semester abroad. I enjoyed a broad a semester.

"Racing makes heroin addiction seem like a vague
wish for something salty." The incomparable Peter Egan.

"Man walking through airport turnstile sideways, going to Bangkok."

-Confucious-

"Wisdom is just a lifetime's worth of accumulated remorse."

-Chris Bennet, Pelican BBS Member

"shut the f@&k up and keep swimming"

-anon

" Hey..you f*cked up....you trusted us!!
Otter

"If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got"

- Francis Dunnery

Oh my god
Becky, look at her butt
It is so big
She looks like one of those rap guys girlfriends
Who understands those rap guys
They only talk to her because she looks like a total prostitute
I mean her butt
It's just so big
I can't believe it's so round
It's just out there
I mean, it's gross
Look, she's just so black
I like big butts and I can not lie
You other brothers can't deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist
And a round thing in your face
You get sprung
Wanna pull up front
Cuz you notice that butt was stuffed
Deep in the jeans she's wearing
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring
Oh, baby I wanna get with ya
And take your picture
My homeboys tried to warn me
But with that butt you got
Make Me so horny
Ooh, all of that smooth skin
You say you wanna get in my benz
Well use me use me cuz you ain't that average groupy
I've seen them dancin'
The hell with romancin'
Sweat, sweat, got it goin like a turbo vette
I'm tired of magazines
Saying flat butts are the thing
Take the average black man and ask him that
She gotta pack much back
Fellas (yeah) Fellas (yeah)
Has your girlfriend got the butt (hell yeah)
Well shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it, shake that healthy butt
Baby got back
(LA face with an Oakland booty)
I like 'em round and big
And when I'm throwin a gig
I just can't help myself
I'm actin like an animal
Now here's my scandal
I wanna get you home
And - huh, double up - huh huh
I aint talkin bout playboy
Cuz silicone parts were made for toys
I wannem real thick and juicy
So find that juicy double
Mixalot's in trouble
Beggin for a piece of that bubble
So I'm lookin' at rock videos
Watchin' these bimbos walkin like hoes
You can have them bimbos
I'll keep my women like Flo Jo
A word to the thick soul sistas
I wanna get with ya
I won't cus or hit ya
But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna - huh
Til the break of dawn
I got it goin on
Alot of pimps won't like this song
Cuz them punks lie to hit it and quit it
But I'd rather stay and play
Cuz I'm long and I'm strong
And I'm down to get the friction on
So ladies (yeah), Ladies (yeah)
If you wanna roll in my Mercedes (yeah)
Then turn around
Stick it out
Even white boys got to shout
Baby got back
(LA face with an Oakland booty)
Yeah baby
When it comes to females
Cosmo and got notin to do with my selection
36-24-33
Only if she's 5'3"
So your girlfriend throws a Honda
Playin workout tapes by Fonda
But Fonda ain't got a motor in the back of her Honda
My anaconda don't want none unless you've got buns hun
You can do side bends or sit-ups, but please don't lose that butt
Some brothers wanna play that hard role
And tell you that the butt ain't gold
So they toss it and leave it
And I pull up quick to retrieve it
So cosmo says you're fat
Well I ain't down with that
Cuz your waist is small and your curves are kickin
And I'm thinkin bout stickin
To the beanpole dames in the magazines
You aint it miss thing
Give me a sista I can't resist her
Red beans and rice didn't miss her
Some knucklehead tried to dis
Cuz his girls were on my list
He had game but he chose to hit 'em
And pulled up quick to get with 'em
So ladies if the butt is round
And you wanna triple X throw down

Alright you guys. This one is not funny, but it has always been a moving string of words to me. And right now, without betraying details, it is considerably more meaningful to me than ever before. Hope somebody appreciates it like I always have. It's too much to hope than anyone will appreciate it as much as I do right now in my life:

"It costs so much to be a full human being that there are very few who have the enlightenment, or the courage, to pay the price…. One has to abandon altogether the search for security, and reach out to the risk of living with both arms. One has to embrace the world like a lover, and yet demand no easy return of love. One has to accept pain as a condition of existence. One has to court doubt and darkness as the cost of knowing. One needs a will stubborn in conflict, but apt always to the total acceptance of every consequence of living and dying."
The Shoes of the Fisherman (1963).

From Team America: (slightly edited for PG13 rating)

"See, there's three kinds of people: deecks, poossies, and arseholes.
Poossies think everyone can get along, and deecks just want to f_ck
all the time without thinking it through. But then you got your arseholes. And all the arseholes want is to ****e all over everything! So, poossies
may get mad at deecks once in a while, because poossies get f_cked by deecks.
But deecks also f_ck arseholes. And if they didn't f_ck the arseholes,
you know what you'd get? You'd get your deeck and your poossy all covered in ****e!"

"and today is only yesterday's tomorrow" - Uriah Heep's Circle of Hands

No matter how good she looks,
someone is sick of putting up with her crap.

That sounds stolen from Ozzy Osbourne's 'Thank God for the Bomb' from around 1986.

"Today was tomorrow yesterday. It's funny how the time can slip away......"

Similar lyrics but UH's Demons and Wizards was released in May 1972. Guess who stole what.....

I did a search on it before even mentioning it, and saw that the Demons and Wizards CD was released in 1990... It didn't say it was a re-release, so I guess Ozzy stole it from them :D

-You're never alone in a room with a schizophrenic. (Ian Hunter)
-People are goofy. Some of my best friends are people. (Rev. James Farmer)
-If the Atheist is right, the Christian lost nothing. If Christian is right, the Atheist is in deep trouble!
-You can tune a piano but you can't tunafish (Groucho)

Tina got a big ole butt
I know I told you I'd be true
Tina got a big ole butt
So I'm leaving you

I have a mind like a steel trap. Everything that goes in get mangled.

"I can make another one just like ya." Bill Cosby; fatherly quip to son.

Have you ever noticed that anyone driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone driving faster than you is a maniac??
George Carlin

"The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reasons for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries to comprehend a little of this mystery every day. Never lose a holy curiosity."
- Albert Einstein

"My life has been a testimony to the credo of the entrepreneur. People like me who have lived the dream should share their knowledge with others, because if private sector business doesn't help–then the American entrepreneur won't survive."
- Edward Lowe, inventor of "Kitty Litter"

"Although human subtlety makes a variety of inventions by different means to the same end, it will never devise an invention more beautiful, more simple or more direct than does nature, because in her inventions nothing is lacking, and nothing is superfluous."
- Leonardo da Vinci

"It's a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations." - Winston Churchill