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Cars & Coffee Killer
 
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Insane Jerk!

It started with a cast-iron frying pan...a cast-iron frying pan on the range from hell...set on "high".

I poured in a whole Bud Light and a quarter cup of olive oil. When the beer had reduced to about a quarter of its original volume, I added the vegetables: a quarter of a diced onion, some diced green onion, and a single diced jalepeno pepper (more on this later).

When the vegetables began to saute after most of the beer evaporated, I added the pork--a whole pound of pork tenderloin that had been cubed and marinated in Lowry's Carribean Jerk marinade the night before--and stirred it all together.

I let the jerk sauce bubble and spatter for about five minutes, then I reduced the heat to medium. I added a whole drained can of black beans and mixed it all together. In another five minutes, it was ready to serve.

I toasted four sliced of bread and made two sloppy, heaping jerk pork sandwiches.

That must have been some insanely strong jalepeno. I've never eaten anything so spicey. Not only was my mouth burning and I was sweating profusely, but I realized that my nostrils and sinuses were burning from exhaling through my nose after taking a bite. I finished two sandwiches. (My wife took one bite of hers and declared it too spicey to eat.)

I'm not looking forward to the jerk's exit. I'm afraid that if I s*** myself, my leg will go numb.

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Last edited by legion; 07-21-2006 at 07:07 PM..
Old 07-21-2006, 06:41 PM
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The tequila will help...
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Old 07-21-2006, 06:44 PM
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Any leftovers?
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Old 07-21-2006, 07:02 PM
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We ran into a jalapeno like that the other day; my wife was making jalapeno polenta and it was like a f*cking chemical warfare attack when she put it on the stove. We were gasping and wheezing, tears in our eyes...had to open the doors (110 degrees out) and air the place out...
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Old 07-21-2006, 07:05 PM
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Yep...enough for 2-3 more sandwiches.

My wife is going to love me tonight...
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Old 07-21-2006, 07:06 PM
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Jerk sauce is pretty hot by itself so I doubt it was jalapeno. If you want hot, go to BW3's and get some boneless wings with a side of the 'blazin sauce. Its ridiculous. I get the fire ****s from sitting next to someone else who's eating it. Make sure you are sitting down when you try it because it causes temporary blindness. You wait for the burn to go away, and it just doesn't. Don't worry tho, 5-10 minutes later and you will begin to feel your face again.
Old 07-21-2006, 07:17 PM
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Lowry's Jerk marinade isn't that hot. I use it all the time. I've had BW3's jerk sauce, and THAT is hot. I won't touch the Blazin'. I hear it eats o-rings...
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Old 07-21-2006, 07:21 PM
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The Jerk sauce at BW3's can be pretty hot if they slather it on. Mango Habanero is perfect, IMO. Blazin is just flat out ridiculous.
Old 07-21-2006, 07:31 PM
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As much as I use jalapenos in my cooking, I still haven't figured out how to pick the evil ones out. This vexes me on both extremes - sometimes I just want that jalepeno flavor and end up with a neutron bomb (even after seeding) and other times I want searing fire in my cooking, yet even with seeds thrown in, I end up with a dud.

This is frustrating!

Did you put in the seeds? That is usually - usually - a surefire way to get serious heat. The fact that you cooked for a very short time without a great deal of liquid also kept your flavor concentrated.

Once on a legendary bender in Boston with my college buddies, I grabbed a jalapeno the size of a small dill pickle. Thinking it was pickled, I tore off a huge bite. It wasn't pickled, which became apparent. It was sort of like turning on a high-end, high wattage sound system and inserting "Ride of the Valkyries", then slowly turning up the volume knob until my ears began to bleed and I lost control of higher motor functions. The remainder of the evening was a blur. The next day, the combination of the mutant jalapeno and countless pints of draft beer made for a debilitating colonic catastrophe, the details of which I will spare you, my gentle reader.
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Old 07-21-2006, 07:58 PM
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Re: Insane Jerk!

Quote:
Originally posted by legion
That must have been some insanely strong jalepeno. I've never eaten anything so spicey. Not only was my mouth burning and I was sweating profusely, but I realized that my nostrils and sinuses were burning from exhaling through my nose after taking a bite. I finished two sandwiches.
Nice. The man makes some insanely spicy jerk pork. Suffers through one sandwhich. Is that enough torture for him? Heck no! He downs another sandwhich!

Now most females will deem you stupid, insane, foolish for even attempting to eat the first sandwhich, let alone the second one.

But man to man, I must say, "Bravo! Well done."

That said, when it is time for said concoction to vacate its present location, you may want to yell a warning of "FIRE IN THE HOLE!!" I suspect that you will be hoping that the second coming of Christ arrives before you finish your duty...

Let me say it again, "Bravo! Well done!"

-Z-man.
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Old 07-21-2006, 07:58 PM
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I always use the seeds...
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Old 07-21-2006, 08:33 PM
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Habaneros are way hotter. Oily stuff will put out that fire, or drink some milk, preferably whole milk. If you are worried about that day after stuff, try some Chaser, the stuff for hangovers after you eat it, activated charcoal will help you with the ring of fire the next day
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Old 07-21-2006, 09:56 PM
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noobs! My mom's home grown peppers will blow away any jalapeno...like a stick of dynamite to a lady finger fire cracker. Thai peppers one acid.

Speaking of jalapeno...when in college, our Geology class was in El Paso for a BBQ hosted by UTEP. My buddy Dan and I ran into a basket of jalapeno after a week of hiking in the desert. After a couple beers at the BBQ... I dared him to eat a whole pepper if I ate one. I've have never seen an Irishman scream and cry and laugh like that after he ate his pepper.

Last edited by MotoSook; 07-21-2006 at 11:15 PM..
Old 07-21-2006, 11:08 PM
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Jabeneros are the hottest pepper period. Hotter than thai, chili, or cayenne. Jalepenos are mild by comparison. The seeds are not where the "hotness" lives. The oil (Capsaicin oil) is actually in the veins of the pepper. You can buy hot sauce on the internet that is 4-5 million Scoville units. Pure Capsaicin is 16 million.
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Old 07-22-2006, 02:29 AM
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I made and ate 4 large Jalapeno Pico De Gillo Salsa, along with 3 Marinated ones. I just make sure to clean out the seeds and veins under running water.

I like spicy, but hot for the sake of hot...Nawwww....I'm getting too old for that *****.

Pico Pica Hot is my favorite Taco sauce...I found about 20 bottles in the discount bin at Albertsons for $0.25 a bottle, i bought them all.

I also like Sambal Oelek..Red Chili Paste..I will use a Tablespoon of that stuff in my Oriental concoctions.
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Old 07-22-2006, 02:52 AM
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Nevermind, I thought the thread title was about my division level boss.
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Old 07-22-2006, 06:33 AM
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Great story. For some reason, no matter how hot food is I never have "exit" issues. Never. I'm a lucky guy! I only get burned once.
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Old 07-22-2006, 06:39 AM
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Rumor has it that the pepper gets hotter as it ripens.

If you carefully and thoroughly cut the seeds and veins out, habaneros can be made tolerable even for this boy from Michigan whose parents thought salt and sugar were spices.

Jerk rocks! Now I want some for dinner tonight...

mike
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Old 07-23-2006, 01:37 PM
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Oh Yea! Jerk is the way to go. Our personal favoite is called Walkers Wood. It's made in Jamaica and was oiginally turned on to us by a Jamaican friend of our when we lived in South Florida. Hands down it is the best out there. My wife and I put the stuff on so heavily that you can't even see the meat underneath.

Personally, I'm addicted to hot peppers. I've been growing all kinds of them for over ten years. I grow a Bahamian pepper that the locals call the "finga peppa" It's a little thin skinned bright orange pepper that packs a nice little punch which fades away within minutes. The plants live about five years or more if you prune them like a rose in the winter.

Jalapeno's are the old standby. Interestingly enough, as you've noted, you never know what you're going to get, heat wise. But it's not the individual pepper itself, but rather the plant. I have seven or eight Jalapeno plants right now and most of them are fairly mild, by my taste (although they are not complete duds, thank god). One, however, produces the mouth watering, eye watering, sweat inducing, gut destoying bombs you speak of. I love it. I actually started that one last year and loved it so much that I carried it over into this year's growing season. Typically, I grab two peppers, cut them into slices, and put them on my lunch sandwiches. Hmmm.

I'm also growing a Potugese pepper this year which tastes similar to a jalapeno but looks more like a big Cayenne. It's only mildly hot. Another one I'm growing is a Thai pepper. Fairly hot little bugger, also in it's second year.

A few of years ago I decided to grow a specific type of Habanero pepper called the Red Savina, which is trademarked. The owners of the trademark claim that their Red Savina Habanero is the world's hottest pepper according to the Guinness Book of records. Good god, these peppers were insane!! I swear that if someone actually tried to eat one of these whole, it would stop their heart. I'm a pepper guy and normally am not bothered by hot peppers but these things were like chemical weapon torture devices. Needless to say, I do not grow these any more because I simply have no idea how I'd actually be able to eat one. They do taste good though, just before your mouth goes numb.

Last edited by 450knotOffice; 07-23-2006 at 02:29 PM..
Old 07-23-2006, 02:26 PM
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http://www.blogjam.com/2006/07/20/pepto-bismol-ice-cream

Pepto-bismol ice cream...

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Old 07-23-2006, 03:21 PM
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