OK...what is the 'tabs' story??????
 

Yea, curiosity is getting the best of me. Rolls Royce's, vintage spoons, nice firearms, gigantic houses...just what is the deal with tabs? Got lucky on Real Estate in the 80s/90s? Cashed in on the tech boom and smart enough to get out before the bust? I could have sworn I saw him say something about a Trust Fund...is that it?

However, tabs, you seem to talk about large parts of your wealth as being in the past...you had money at one point and you don't now? Or just not as much?

It's fun/interesting to see how board members online identities change...witness Mul. Well, tabs is a pretty interesting character..so, what's his story?*

*I realize taking this to PM would have been more private, but I'm interested as much in his take of things as I am in other members who have been here for awhile. What do other members remember about tabs and his story?

Ask Paul. :D

Did you ever see Devil's Advocate? That was about him, and I don't mean Keanu Reeves

My understanding is that his name "tabs" comes from all the soda can tabs he picked up and saved during the time he lived under highway overpasses.

The story, as I've heard it, is that he sold his collection of tabs during the peak prices for aluminum around 1990 and bought himself a nice single-wide (used) which he lived in in New Orleans until hurricane Katrina displaced him.

The government gave him a new double-wide along with a number of credit cards and he's been spending "hog-wild" at auctions ever since, actually making some good returns in his wheeling-and-dealing -- demonstrating that government hand-out programs can actually work!


;)

SmileWavy

He is really Elvis. Elvis never left the building, just had it all moved to Las Vegas.

http://forums.pelicanparts.com/uploa...1175179202.jpg

If you had come to this recent Pelican lunch in Vegas, you would have seen photos of his spoons, and he even brought one with him. After all, how can you have lunch without a spoon? :)

Tabs was a male prostitute, the original American Gigilo.

some say he danced with wolves... as foreplay...:confused:

If Toady knew the full story, we'd have to kill him....

Come and listen to a story about a man named tabs
A poor mountaineer, barely kept his family fed,
Then one day he was shootin at some food,
And up through the ground came a bubblin' crude.

From what I hear, "Guido and his friends" in Vegas will be happy to take care of any issues on this thread...

I thought it was more like this:

Come and listen to a story about a man named Ted,
A rich trust funder, he kept his piehole fed,
Then one day into the towers flew the ragheads,
The next thing you knew, the market it was dead.

Crash it did, huge decline, big bear roar.

Well the first thing you know ol' Ted's not a millionaire,
Kinfolk said Ted, you gotta move away from Bel Aire
Said Las Vegas is the place you ought to be
So he loaded up the truck and moved to the LV.

Purgatory, that is.
Last chancers, the down and out.

The LV Hillbillies!

Ya'll come back, you hear.

tabs was born the son of a poor sharecropper. After a stint in the Navy, he opened up his first dry cleaning store. Through hard work and dedication, he parlayed that single store to a mini-empire of (7). His newfound wealth allowed him to move into the high-rise apartment of his dreams and hire a sassy full-time maid. Often at odds with his quirky neighbors and tip-hungry doorman, he eventually left that enclave for the ministry--where he presided over an unlucky-in-love grown daughter, and was subjected to more sass and quirkiness in the form of choir members, and his flock. Tiring of constantly helping those in need, he abandoned the cloth for the genteel life of the trailer park and its upper-crust pastimes of spoon collecting, firearms dealing, buffett dinners, and fez-wearing. On occasion he will pass on wisdom to those fortunate enough to have not been banned from PPOT. Like modern-day Johnny Appleseeds, those who have heeded his sage advice go forth and spread his message--nurturing new pockets of humanity based upon these teachings,and ensuring those gleaned truths will forever be known as having been taken from the source itself--that which is tabs. And the circle is complete.

I've never done the Tango with Tabs. :D

What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.

Have heard, underground you know, that anyone who "does the Tango with Tabs" is never heard from again.

Its a large desert out there and every Ace hardware sells shovels for less than $10...

If you're in with the right people in Vegas, the holes are already dug. All you have to do is push the dirt back in after you use them.

TABS = Throughly A$$ BackwardS

Or at least thats what Mother says, she named me...so it must be true.

Iraq's desert is large also. No doubt there are a few things buried there if you know what I mean Joe ;)

Back on subject, does Tabs live in a trailer or a mansion now as it seems I have seen pictures of both?

Or does Mother live in the mansion and Tabs sleeps in the trailer away from Mother's sharp tongue?

You mean like this?

http://forums.pelicanparts.com/uploa...1175192201.jpg
http://forums.pelicanparts.com/uploa...1175192295.jpg

When you realize that someone can hide a whole batch of airplanes out in the desert, just think what else might be out there??? :)

The mind boggles and Tabs has a fertile mind...

Most men have to use a shovel to bury their sins.

Tabs uses those spoons.

Tabs made his $$$ early on by extorting money from the unfortunate kiddies. If they didn't pay up it was a long trip down a steep stairwell.

Heard he is still the most notorious bouncer at the bingo hall, when he's awake that is.....

You didn't really think you were going to get a straight answer did ya Toady? :p

FWIW, I'd like to know the REAL story myself.

Tabs got his money from mother, who earned it by sleeping with Alan Greenspan. Any other question I can answer tonight?:cool:

Aurel

Holy Freak, Joe, what kind of airplanes are those? Where did they come from? They must be US made with those twin tails. Sorry about the thread hijack. I'll reveal all about Tabs in a separate thread later.

MRM,

Those are front line supersonic MIG fighters, buried in the ground by Saddam's people in Iraq. They stayed there for years after the fighting began then someone found the funny lumps where there should not be lumps and started digging.

Not sure how many they found but it was more than a few judging from the lumps in the photos. What Tim was referring to was that if you can hide a frigging fighter jet, which is large, you can hide almost anything out in the desert... like WMD, nuke parts or plans and a lot of bodies. IMHO someday we will find more things hidden. Who knows what...

he's my father. Then he cut my arm off. bastard.

i hear they called him "sue" til nearly his 5th birthday.

I first met TABS in person last year. The whole thing is a blur. I woke up in the hotel tub filled with oranges and TABS in the other room shooting a Red Rider BB gun at the TV and mumbling something about CNN being a mouthpiece for the meager.

I rather not think about it, nothing a few more pills can't cure...

I heard that wise men came from the east bearing gifts of whiskey and cocaine and discovered Tabs, in swaddling clothes, in a manger in front of the Flamingo. He was born of a virgin show-girl with a significant collection of antique turkey-basters. (Parum bum, bum bum. The t_ts and a$$ kept time - parum bum, bum, bum.)

As the father (or doner) was unknown, the child grew up with a deep fixation on 'Mother', and, like many young lads with a deep mother-fixation he was unable to have normal relations with women. Eventually he turned into a homosexual and surrounded himself with willing acolytes who hung on his every word and believed that he came from a better and happier place.

His acolytes spread the word, and before long a cult had sprung up: a cult that worshipped him and carried the message far and wide. He could do no wrong. Whatever he said, no matter how stupid or pointless, was was repeated and accepted as truth and wisdom by an ever larger group of breathless believers.

Like other false prophets before him, he promised much but delivered little. Little that is apart from a false sense of security, some glib and misguided observations about the meaning of life, and, occasionally, a 'bon mot' - or humorous comment - which the faithful interpreted as a sign of his essential humanity.

And like other false prophets before him, his end was not a pretty sight. His last request, it is said, was for a buffet - and a cigar.

Whiskey and Coke...U mean Mothers bin holding out on me...again

Mother acts like shes all that...a paragon of virtue..come to find out shes nothing but a floozy of a showgirl, just wait till Daddy finds out about this...

My last words I can assure U aren't gona be a request for a Buffet and a Cigar...Its gona be more like "Daddys Home, come to me U 72 lil honeys"...Just hope to Christ that they aren't fat and ugly...

Maybe lubby will need a few more pills if I start mentioning the Big Black Cigars that he was smoking, and he wonders why he has panic attacks......The Oranges are explainable, they were the ones that were left over after the Gin ran out..

Sue is better than TABS till your 50....

That was years ago..There is nothing worse than a little old Lady screaming that shes been robbed, that she said Bingo first..she just wouldn't shut up about it, so I punched her in the face. What else was I gona do?

Well this goes without saying...only thing is I would have to keep explaining it to them over and over again...they never seemed to get the message...and sometimes for *****s and giggles one would go over anyway...

And U never get anywhere trying to dig a hole in the desert with a spoon any dolt knows that....

that's why you have a whole bunch of them...

he was the inventor of the "tab" key on the typewriter, which provided little fame, but sufficient fame, , until computer popularity reissued his patent. look one the left of your keyboard, 3 keys down, which is it tabs, right or left?

As I heard it tabs was the secret "go between" for the aliens and our government in area 51 (you didn't really believe we came up with stealth technology all on our own did you?).

He has since retired on a comfortable government pension in LV where he puts up the facade of being an eccentric millionaire.

thats's no facade, he is eccentric, and concentric too, from the buffet!