penis cream
 

It's 7:00 on a Sunday morning, and as usual I yell to my wife, "Honey, have you seen my penis cream?" And she always says no. It would be so nice if she could say, "Yes dear" on some future Sunday morning..

So I did a Google search, looking for a gag gift of Steve Martin's Penis Cream, and lo and behold there really is such a thing as penis cream. So I want to ask the Pelican collective: What does penis cream do? What's it for? A smoother, more luxuriant penis?

http://forums.pelicanparts.com/uploa...1211725018.jpg

I would guess most of the dolphin wax is for growing the lizard - or at least the proprietors would claim as much.

Now, if creams that claim to extend the Johnson and substances used to prime the pole (for sexual activity) are excluded, what is left? A product that is solely for moisturizing the member? I have honestly never heard of such a product.

There are natural moisturizers designed to do just this. Ask your wife to provide some for you.......

The question is, how do you get her to rub it in for you? :)

I think that occurs naturally! At least what "I" am thinking of!

And then you can return the favor and give her some of yours! I hear it's good for the face...

I would place these "natural" products in the "prime the pole" category. :D

I'm getting primed just....

Rain stopped, gotta go ride. Catch you pervs later.

wait wait . . .cream is a verb, right?


:cool:

I'm supposed to be putting cream on it? Is that what I've been doing wrong all these years?

lol

Cream in your coffee, sir?


Not lately.

Thats the "special sauce" you know! :)

I like the age-defying kind for keeping away liver spots.

there are times that I'm proud to admit that I know you guys, and other times that I'm profoundly ashamed.

I think this fits both quite nicely.

I use it all the time, now my wife has a stiff neck.

If you must know, its commomly used to lightly numb your penis so you can 'last longer'.

Oh yeah, that's what I meant. I use it so my wife doesn't talk as much.

I know a great name for it...

Some of us do not have a "lasting long" problem to need cream. :)

you old boys need a "get it up" cream right?