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Registered
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Seattle
Posts: 1,954
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penis cream
It's 7:00 on a Sunday morning, and as usual I yell to my wife, "Honey, have you seen my penis cream?" And she always says no. It would be so nice if she could say, "Yes dear" on some future Sunday morning..
So I did a Google search, looking for a gag gift of Steve Martin's Penis Cream, and lo and behold there really is such a thing as penis cream. So I want to ask the Pelican collective: What does penis cream do? What's it for? A smoother, more luxuriant penis? 
Last edited by genrex; 05-25-2008 at 07:23 AM.. Reason: - |
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05-25-2008, 07:22 AM
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Monkey with a mouse
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: SoCal
Posts: 6,006
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I would guess most of the dolphin wax is for growing the lizard - or at least the proprietors would claim as much.
Now, if creams that claim to extend the Johnson and substances used to prime the pole (for sexual activity) are excluded, what is left? A product that is solely for moisturizing the member? I have honestly never heard of such a product. |
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05-25-2008, 07:30 AM
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canna change law physics
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Quote:
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James The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the engineer adjusts the sails.- William Arthur Ward (1921-1994) Red-beard for President, 2020 |
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05-25-2008, 07:50 AM
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: N. Phoenix AZ USA
Posts: 28,977
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Quote:
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2021 Subaru Legacy, 2002 Dodge Ram 2500 Cummins (the workhorse), 1992 Jaguar XJ S-3 V-12 VDP (one of only 100 examples made), 1969 Jaguar XJ (been in the family since new), 1985 911 Targa backdated to 1973 RS specs with a 3.6 shoehorned in the back, 1959 Austin Healey Sprite (former SCCA H-Prod), 1995 BMW R1100RSL, 1971 & '72 BMW R75/5 "Toaster," Ural Tourist w/sidecar, 1949 Aeronca Sedan / QB |
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05-25-2008, 07:51 AM
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canna change law physics
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I think that occurs naturally! At least what "I" am thinking of!
And then you can return the favor and give her some of yours! I hear it's good for the face...
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James The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the engineer adjusts the sails.- William Arthur Ward (1921-1994) Red-beard for President, 2020 |
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05-25-2008, 07:53 AM
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Monkey with a mouse
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: SoCal
Posts: 6,006
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Quote:
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05-25-2008, 07:57 AM
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canna change law physics
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I'm getting primed just....
Rain stopped, gotta go ride. Catch you pervs later.
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James The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the engineer adjusts the sails.- William Arthur Ward (1921-1994) Red-beard for President, 2020 |
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05-25-2008, 08:12 AM
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Information Junky
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: an island, upper left coast, USA
Posts: 73,167
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Quote:
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Everyone you meet knows something you don't. - - - and a whole bunch of crap that is wrong. Disclaimer: the above was 2¢ worth. More information is available as my professional opinion, which is provided for an exorbitant fee.
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05-25-2008, 08:18 AM
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Dog-faced pony soldier
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I'm supposed to be putting cream on it? Is that what I've been doing wrong all these years?
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A car, a 911, a motorbike and a few surfboards Black Cars Matter |
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05-25-2008, 09:00 AM
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Custom User Title
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Miami
Posts: 4,294
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Quote:
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05-25-2008, 10:56 AM
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Team California
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Cream in your coffee, sir?
Not lately.
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Denis |
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05-25-2008, 11:01 AM
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: N. Phoenix AZ USA
Posts: 28,977
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Quote:
__________________
2021 Subaru Legacy, 2002 Dodge Ram 2500 Cummins (the workhorse), 1992 Jaguar XJ S-3 V-12 VDP (one of only 100 examples made), 1969 Jaguar XJ (been in the family since new), 1985 911 Targa backdated to 1973 RS specs with a 3.6 shoehorned in the back, 1959 Austin Healey Sprite (former SCCA H-Prod), 1995 BMW R1100RSL, 1971 & '72 BMW R75/5 "Toaster," Ural Tourist w/sidecar, 1949 Aeronca Sedan / QB |
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05-25-2008, 12:53 PM
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Edministrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: SF east bay
Posts: 25,435
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I like the age-defying kind for keeping away liver spots.
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Good post? Leave a tip! O - $1 O - $2 O - $3 |
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05-25-2008, 02:07 PM
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Registered
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there are times that I'm proud to admit that I know you guys, and other times that I'm profoundly ashamed.
I think this fits both quite nicely. |
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05-25-2008, 02:10 PM
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Banned
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Earth
Posts: 31,744
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I use it all the time, now my wife has a stiff neck.
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05-25-2008, 02:47 PM
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Insert Tag Line HERE.....
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If you must know, its commomly used to lightly numb your penis so you can 'last longer'.
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05-25-2008, 08:58 PM
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Banned
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Earth
Posts: 31,744
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Oh yeah, that's what I meant. I use it so my wife doesn't talk as much.
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05-25-2008, 09:10 PM
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Targa, Panamera Turbo
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Houston TX
Posts: 22,366
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I know a great name for it...
__________________
Michael D. Holloway https://simple.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_D._Holloway https://5thorderindustry.com/ https://www.amazon.com/s?k=michael+d+holloway&crid=3AWD8RUVY3E2F&sprefix= michael+d+holloway%2Caps%2C136&ref=nb_sb_noss_1 |
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05-25-2008, 09:22 PM
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: N. Phoenix AZ USA
Posts: 28,977
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Quote:
__________________
2021 Subaru Legacy, 2002 Dodge Ram 2500 Cummins (the workhorse), 1992 Jaguar XJ S-3 V-12 VDP (one of only 100 examples made), 1969 Jaguar XJ (been in the family since new), 1985 911 Targa backdated to 1973 RS specs with a 3.6 shoehorned in the back, 1959 Austin Healey Sprite (former SCCA H-Prod), 1995 BMW R1100RSL, 1971 & '72 BMW R75/5 "Toaster," Ural Tourist w/sidecar, 1949 Aeronca Sedan / QB |
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05-25-2008, 09:29 PM
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Skunk works
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Quote:
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964 RS-4 |
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05-25-2008, 09:59 PM
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1970/1982 Porsche 914-6/911SC 2.7 RS
1979 Porsche 911SC 3.0
78 Porsche 911 Turbo
1972 porsche 72 rsr clone
1995 porsche 993
1995 porsche 993
1990 porsche C2 911
1966 porsche 911
1984 Porsche 911
2003 Porsche 996
Manfred
964 RS-4
