suicide

[9dreizig]

Got a couple of phone calls today from my sons both at the same time, both really upset.. My ex wife was married to a really nice guy, but a raging alchoholic who had been fighting the demons for a long time, on and off the wagon..
Anyway, he hung himself in his/her garage today... Even though we weren't close, he always treated my kids well and was a nice guy..
Just seams like such a selfish thing to do,, alot of pain for my kids ( they are 24 and 25), my ex and I"m sure alot of others to deal with..
Kinda shook me up....

[Arizona_928]

depression.. it can happen to anyone.

[trekkor]

Really sad.

Try to be comforting if you can.


KT

[Rick Lee]

Originally Posted by AZ_porschekid

depression.. it can happen to anyone.

Yup. Heinz Prechter killed himself the same way. He was a billionaire, the guy who patented the sunroof for cars. All the money and toys in the world, a loving wife and kids, a captain of industry and he just decided to hang himself one day out of depression.

I had a cousin who committed suicide about 10 yrs. ago. It was pretty rough. I was there when they wheeled her body out of the house.

[livi]

I am sorry to hear this. It is often very difficult even for adults to understand why someone chooses to take his own life. For a child its impossible and very frightening.

[Danimal16]

We had a guy overseas shoot himself. Never saw it coming. He survived but man, the damage is beyond belief. Having gone through some pretty depressing period (blondezilla the dog killer) I have alot of compassion for those that do this to themselves and their loved ones. Even though the act itself seems so selfish, where the victim is a really bad place. It may seem on the surface that they are a full up round, but inside they are all alone. Very sad, sorry to hear this has happened, very sorry.

[Tim Walsh]

It seems to happen to the people you least expect. I had a coworker/friend of mine take his life just a month or two ago, and even the day before we were talking about stripping one of his turbo dodges down to be the ultimate track rat, or an ITA car.(He was a regular corner worker for nonSCCA events at VIR) Nobody saw it coming, and having battled those demons before, that's it's still tough to spot...

[Oh Haha]

My former Brother-in-Law did this just a year after he married my sister. He was one of those guys that was good looking, the life of the party, and had a TON of friends.

They started to have some problems, nothing major mind you, as most coouples do.

Well, one day he apparently decided that he had had enough. He shot himself in the chest with a shotgun. Wouldn't want to fuch up his pretty face!!!

Yea,I still am kinda pi$$ed about what he put our family through. My Mom and Dad thought the world of him and , after losing my oldest brother to an car accident, I'm sure it brought back bad memories.

Later, we discovered that he had a rocky relationship with his Father, who was very successful in bridge design. Mario didn't do a whole lot after high school.

[sand_man]

...such a sad story!!! Sorry about the impact to your family!

[Superman]

I wonder who found him.

Yeah, I know all about depression. And I still say suicide is chicken-****.

I am sorry this coward has now inflicted at least some psychological damage onto your sons and your ex.

[Jeff Higgins]

Depression. Hmmm... been there, done that. I don't think anyone who has never suffered truly debilitating depression can ever understand. The only things that kept me alive on several occasions were my unshakeable faith in God, and the thought of what it would do to my wife and kids. Depression just has to be the a-number-one worst affliction a man can suffer. Trust me on that one. My heart truly goes out to one and all affected by this.

[notfarnow]

Originally Posted by Superman

I wonder who found him.

Yeah, I know all about depression. And I still say suicide is chicken-****.

I am sorry this coward has now inflicted at least some psychological damage onto your sons and your ex.

ouch

3 in my family. After a while, you learn to not judge others too harshly

9dreizig, sorry your family is dealing with this. Do you think your kids are comfortable talking to you about it?

[Heel n Toe]

It's the saddest thing to think that someone got so low that suicide was the best option/answer.

A guy I know was being treated for depression with some kind of meds. One day he decided he didn't like one of the side effects, so he stopped taking it without checking with the doctor.

That is a big no-no, but he didn't know that.

He apparently dropped into a deep, dark hole. Walked out into his backyard and shot himself in the head with a .22 pistol. Beautiful, loving wife and two sweet, wonderful daughters.

If you are ever on meds for depression, do not stop taking them for any reason without calling the doc... he can switch you to another one, but there is a way to do it by tapering off the original med, etc.

[Oh Haha]

When I went through separation with my first wife, I was depressed to the point I thought of it.Flame away, boys. It is the truth but for the love of my family(Mom, Dad, siblings and the thought of what it would do to them, I got some help and lived on through it and prospered in ways I never could have dreamed of.)

It was just a few months after my own marriage problems that my BIL took his life so I am so glad that I chose to live.

[9dreizig]

Some more details,,
His step dad found him, cut him down and tried to recesitate to no avail..
Kids did have to look at him laying there but apparently lying there with a broken neck.
Yes I have an excellant relationship with my sons, ,so no problem there.

[craigster59]

My Mother comitted sucide when I was 15, she had reinjured her leg to the point of not being able to walk and I think she didn't want to have to go through the pain and suffering again. There were other circumstances as well (single parent, a relationship that was ending, feeling as if she was a burden to those around her due to her injury, etc.).

Yes it was a selfish act, but I think in her mind at the time it was for everyones best interest. I don't think I would go so far as to label suicide "cowardice".

The odd thing that haunts me (among other things) is that suicide is "contagious". Our neighbor across the street comitted suicide thru carbon monoxide poisoining 2 months previous from my Mother due to a failed short term marriage. My Mother also used car exhaust (got the idea from the neighbor) and 6 months later, her best friend comitted suicide the same way after her marriage failed. Thankfully it stopped there.

This was in the mid 70's and depression was (as is sometimes now) kept in the closet. At least now more help seems to be available. I think people have to realize there shouldn't be a stigma attached, it's a real disease with terrible consequences if left untreated.

[tabs]

No body who is a "raging Alchololic," has "demons" etc is a "really nice guy." People that are Alkies usually have enablers who continue to let them get away with their crap.

One always hears about the "really nice guy" who goes into McDoanlds and blows everybody away.

So let us cut the crap. The guy probably was a decent guy who had major problems that he basically never came to terms with. The people around him are ultimately the ones who are going to suffer.

From listening to you BOyz my not so humble opinion is that most of you don't know squat about depression, rage, anxiety etc. Most of you seem to think it just happens out of the blue. None of you have ever sat down and consciencily thought about it and put the pieces together (Exception Nostatus). You would rather remain ignorant gits with your heads in the sand. When something like this happens your reacation is, "He seemed so happy, he was really a nice guy."

Everybody has some self awareness to a varying degree. It just depends on what your family taught you and how self aware they are. The more self aware you are the better able to dodge and cope with the bullets of life. Nobdody gets outa life without a few dustups.


Now Super, unless ya have been in Thearpy to learn about why you have depression and how to cope with depression ya don't know much. Medicine taking ALONE leaves ya as ignorant as before, which means the underlieing problem remains. That is basically why, when ya come off meds ya sink back into depression. Plus the fact that your brain chemistry will change to adapt to those meds, that is another complex issue.

Ya see science has just realized that experience (thearpy for instance) actually changes brain chemistry because the configuration of the brain changes ever so slightly. DUH they just figured that out!!

[rammstein]

If I didn't have my wife and family, I don't know if I would bother staying around. Like, if we were all in a plane crash and I was the only survivor, I'd end it as opposed to live the rest of my life with that to deal with.

[Danimal16]

Originally Posted by tabs

No body who is a "raging Alchololic," has "demons" etc is a "really nice guy." People that are Alkies usually have enablers who continue to let them get away with their crap.

One always hears about the "really nice guy" who goes into McDoanlds and blows everybody away.

So let us cut the crap. The guy probably was a decent guy who had major problems that he basically never came to terms with. The people around him are ultimately the ones who are going to suffer.

From listening to you BOyz my not so humble opinion is that most of you don't know squat about depression, rage, anxiety etc. Most of you seem to think it just happens out of the blue. None of you have ever sat down and consciencily thought about it and put the pieces together (Exception Nostatus). You would rather remain ignorant gits with your heads in the sand. When something like this happens your reacation is, "He seemed so happy, he was really a nice guy."

Everybody has some self awareness to a varying degree. It just depends on what your family taught you and how self aware they are. The more self aware you are the better able to dodge and cope with the bullets of life. Nobdody gets outa life without a few dustups.


Now Super, unless ya have been in Thearpy to learn about why you have depression and how to cope with depression ya don't know much. Medicine taking ALONE leaves ya as ignorant as before, which means the underlieing problem remains. That is basically why, when ya come off meds ya sink back into depression. Plus the fact that your brain chemistry will change to adapt to those meds, that is another complex issue.

Ya see science has just realized that experience (thearpy for instance) actually changes brain chemistry because the configuration of the brain changes ever so slightly. DUH they just figured that out!!

You know tabs, sometimes you just have a way of taking an exchange down a toilet trail. Booze is the age old form of self medication, no excuse for behavior, just understanding it. You make some valid points but you have a way of coming off as a know it all. The entire topic is more complex than you trite answer indicates. Lets just say that if the experts are still figuring out the intricacies of his complex matter, well maybe you should reflect that maybe your research may need some work. And yes it does, in many circumstances come out of the blue, at least to those that finally realize what has happened. The effect of stress, expectations, lack of exercise and a hole lot of other extremely complex factors are involved, so tone it down.

[9dreizig]

I"m in total shock,, today I got a call from my mother that my niece age 21 committed suicide at college.. I can't imagine that this has struck my family twice in three days... It's late I'll fill you guys in on more details tomorrow..