Things I HATE:
 

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2 People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the T..V.. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.

3 When people say 'Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too'. Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

4 When people say 'it's always the last place you look'. Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their ass.

5 When people say while watching a film 'did you see that?'. No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.

6 People who ask 'Can I ask you a question?'.... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine!

7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.

8 When people say 'life is short'. What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?

9 When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks 'Has the bus come yet?'. If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?

When I'm standing at the end of a long line and someone comes up to me and asks; "Is this the end of the line?" No, dumbass. It's the front. We're all standing backwards.

LOL, a long time ago I worked with a guy who was a real character. if someone asked him what time it was, he automatically said "right now?"
it was a joke just to mess with people but everyone always said, yes.

I thought it was funny so started doing it too. Now it's a habit. Drives my wife crazy.
What's worse is many of the people I work with have started doing it too. Try it the next time somene askes what time it is. No one will ever say, "of course I mean right now, what did you think I meant".
Beware, it becomes a habit easily and you won't be able to stop.

For an art project in high school I made a very convincing slice of chocolate cake from brown painted sponge, white bath sealant in between the layers, topped with brown painted bath sealant, brown painted wood shavings, more decorative white bath sealant 'icing' and miniature steel ball bearings.

The point?

To show that you can have your cake but you WOULDN'T want to eat it.

Oh, I have a list. How about when someone says:

1) "whenever I went to the store last week." Whenever? You went at a specific time!

2) "key accounts, key markets, key decision makers" Who doesn't think they're key or who thinks what they handle isn't key? If everything is key, then nothing really is.

3) "irregardless" No comment needed.

4) "Now more than ever." No comment needed.

5) "Less calories" or "the amount of people" NOOOO!!!!! It's fewer calories and number of people.

6) "undocumented immigrants" I call them ILLEGALS.

7) "armed gunman" What kind of gunman isn't armed? Someone who carries a toy gun?

No, he's still armed, just not very well.

Every time I take my stepson to the pet store for chinchilla food, the checkout person says "Oh! Do you have a chinchilla?"
We usually spend the drive home thinking up smartass retorts.

When I say "Thank you" and the response is "No problem". Great way to make my expression of gratitude seem like an apology. Waiters do it all the time - I'm a chronic thanker, so they'll get the "T" bomb when they refill my water glass, and I'll get the "No problem" back.

I know they don't mean it in the spirit I take it, but it still pisses me off.

Get off my lawn!

Or when someone says "Do you have the correct time?" No dip$h!t I set my watch wrong on purpose. Or I think "Just for that you should get the wrong time."

"How far is it to the state line?"
" Oh, about three hours."
"OK numbnuts...how long will it take me to get there? 150 miles?"

HOT water heater. Its a friggin' water heater. If the water was already hot, WHY THE F*CK WOULD I NEED A HEATER?"

Consistently, persistently negative people.
I can pretty much take everything else.

The Hot Water Heater reminds me of this one:

Is it really a Beauty shop? or an Ugly shop?

I walked into a deli and asked for two pastrami sandwiches, one to go. The guy said, "Which one?" He made my day.

"semi-automatic hand gun"
"semi-automatic riffle"

If its not full-auto, don't bother me with the pointless details. Actually, unless its a gatling gun or a laser beam, just call it a gun. kthxby

"Yes, and the coat is almost finished."

people

"Six or one half dozen or the other"

I'll bet dollars to donuts....

I hate the name "Half & Half" too. Why not just called it "Whole?"

If I hear someone use the word "traction" when it's not related to car tires one more time, I'm gonna.... :mad:

Oh, I forgot the one I hate the most of all - "diversity."

Observation....were we to come up with a list of actual ways to prevent all the things we hate, would we then start to come up with a biatch thread about how uptight, PC and impersonal we all are?

Oh and BTW, the two things I hate are being interupted and asking a question and being ignored. If you interupt me it means you can't abide by rational rules of discourse and don't see any reason to respect my argument...and you're a douchenozzle. Ignoring me if I ask a question and you obviously heard it, that's a clear indication you're a swamp donkey and should be treated as such.

"Douchenozzle."
"Swamp Donkey."
I love PPOT.

[QUOTE=dhoward;4463689]Every time I take my stepson to the pet store for chinchilla food, the checkout person says "Oh! Do you have a chinchilla?"
We usually spend the drive home thinking up smartass retorts.[/QUOTE

with a straight face say NO. and walk off.

we keep foster kids. we had one that was about 12 months ( why they just dont say 1, i dont know) anyway, the other was 14 months. when people would ask how old they were, we would answer with a straight face and then sit there and watch them do the math.

another good one was when a lady asked about one of "our" kids and she said he looks just like you, with a kinda hurt face i said, im not the father. priceless!

"Its only money"

That crap pisses me off. If you are that casual about it, just give it to me.

#1 PET PEEVE: Neighbors that habitually let their trash blow in my yard and have vehicles that leak all over the street. ZERO regard for the surroundings and let their clothes hang out all winter on the clothesline frozen solid. The family never has any money but has 11 crap vehicles.

#2 When I make a purchase at the gas station and hand the clerk my credit card; he/she proceeds to crank it through the card reader like its fast pitch softball. Then they look at me and say "huh, its not reading your card" and they wind up and crank it through again full force.

#3 - "Oriented". Sorry, its not "orien-tated".

#4- When I have to ask for a receipt when I've purchased something. :mad:

OOh! Ooh! Stupid ring tones! I can't imagine in my wildest dreams that I'd be secretly happy that my coworkers heard "Take a Chance on Me" when I get a call on the phone (not that there's anything wrong with Abba).

Just give me a little chirp or ring, or even better, vibrate; that's businesslike and as unobtrusive as it gets.

+100
What could possibly make them think faster is better?
They usually end up wrecking the card eventually too...

I hate the fact that I can't remember all the things I hate.

It's NUCLEAR dammit!

Not NUCULUR!

Jumbo shrimp
people who BS in the isle at the grocery store and block the way....call them at home ok?
People that come up to me on stage in the middle of a song to ask a stupid question like " Can you play some Chicago?" Sure a-hole do you see an Fing horn section up here? It's TRIO for chrissake! And by the way where do you work so I can come over and ask you stupid questions while you're working on something important!

Ooooh, that's good! And worse yet, when they let the entire freaking song play before answering. There's a lot to hate related to cell phones.

Another one: cell phone dork holsters. You might have been cool in 1992 when you proudly displayed your Motorola Startac on your hip, but today you're one of the 99% of the population that has one. If I can carry a Blackberry in my pocket, I know your flip phone will fit.:p

When I walk into the office wearing riding gear and carrying my helmet I get asked " did you ride in today?". :rolleyes:

Bluetooth earpieces. Especially the ones that wear them 24hrs a day.

Just say yes, and with these boots I get good traction ;)

Reminds me of a similar guy I know. If anyone asked him if he'd lived here all his life, he'd reply, "Not yet."

L O L funny... made my day. :D

The only ones I can think of at the moment... BTW, don't hate the sayer, just the way they say it:

* the act of saying "hot water heater"...add me to the list of haters for that

* the act of saying real-it-er instead of real-ter for realtor

* the act of saying jew-luh-ree instead of joolree for jewelry

* the act of being a pinhead and driving 20 MPH through a residential area where the speed limit is 25, and then blowing your horn at me when I go around you

When I call a particular someones cell phone(my dumb a$$ sister) and music starts blaring in my Fing ear. I have to listen through this so I can leave a message.

On second thought it is not the phone it is my sister I don't like.

Would you hate it less if you knew it was "six OF one, half dozen OF the other"?

I hate when Jesus appears suddenly in my holographic picture of an icy creek.

how about when they say "he died doing what he loved"
WTF is that, did he love plunging to the ground after his parachute didn't open???
Did he love freezing to death when he got lost skiing off trail???
No he didn't die doing whe loved - he probably said THIS SUCKS !!!!