Men Are Just Happier People...

[M.D. Holloway]

NICKNAMES
· If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
· If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Smart Ass, and Bone Head.

EATING OUT
· When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
· When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY
· A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
· A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS
· A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
· The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS
· A woman has the last word in any argument.
· Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE
· A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
· A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS
· A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
· A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE
· A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
· A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP
· A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
· A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL
· Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
· Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING
· Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams
· A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

[livi]

Lube, you have an uncanny ability to hit bulls eye presenting facts in a funny fashion, but you didn´t hear this from me should any woman ask.

[bell]

best thing I've read all week lol

[tabs]

· A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.


His own or somebody eles's?

[sketchers356]

I thought this was posted here before...

[M.D. Holloway]

There is nothing original...only rehashed hash!

[12own911]

Good thing I like hash...

[tweezers74]

Most of these observations, I would say I greatly contrast with... but then again, I don't think I am the typical woman. BTW, this made me laugh quite a bit. You are a HOOT, Lubemaster! My reaction:

NICKNAMES
I have nicknames for my friends: Chickenlegs, Baboon, Fartface. OK, they are all my guy friends because honestly, my gal friends couldn't handle this type of goofing around.

EATING OUT
I eat like a horse and the only time I whip out the pocket calculator is when the company is picking up the tab and I don't want accounting on my butt.

MONEY
I can't remember the last time I set foot in a mall... OK when I had to get work clothes but otherwise, I shop online. I know what I want, I find it, and buy it... in less than 10 minutes. And it arrives at my door!

BATHROOMS
"The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items."

OK, this one I will give to you. Hey, don't complain about the process if you are happy with the results. Just sayin'.

ARGUMENTS
This one is true too. I do have to have the last word. I just thought it was because I was stubborn, not because I was a woman.

FUTURE
"A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife."

OK, I agree that men never worry about the future until he gets a wife but I don't think all women worry about getting a husband. I know some women who avoid it.

SUCCESS
"A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man."

I call BS on this one. Bull honkey! OK, I agree there are a lot of women like that out there but who's more stupid? The man who marries this kind of woman or the woman that spends her husband's money like that? I'm just saying either can be OK. Some men like taking care of their women like that. Some women don't. To each their own. For me, personally, I don't want to know how much my man makes. It doesn't affect me because I make my own. I think a successful woman is one who makes her own money and finds a man that doesn't HAVE to buy her things but rather WANTS to buy her things. And the nice thing is, she can actually spoil him back!

MARRIAGE
"A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does."

This one I have to say is sadly true. Eventually, I think both surrender and accept reality.

DRESSING UP
"A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals."

Refer to the "future" statement. One of the reasons why I don't think some women are looking for a husband. Husbands stop trying to look hot. I can rattle off many of my couple friends that have a "hot wife" but can only name one or two with equally "hot husbands".

NATURAL
"Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night."

OK, I wouldn't necessarily disagree with this statement. But in regards to men, I guess I would want to know is what is your tarting point? What is your definition of "good-looking"? If you start off with an ugly husband, guess what? They wake up just as ugly as when they went to bed. Sorry dudes, I have to say I would rather start with a hot looking woman that deteriorates during the night since I know she has the potential to get back there again/improve. The dude, "as same as he went to bed". I guess the moral of the story? Find a hot husband since apparently he won't change...

OFFSPRING
"Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

Somone has to make sure our species survives.

[on2wheels52]

I appreciate your counter-point t74. There's always at least two or three sides to every story.
Jim

[john70t]

Well said tweezers.
If the same standards applied, we'd be living in "mantopia" and "womantopia".

Jack Sprat.

[Zeke]

tweezers, you can't take this stuff seriously. First of all, what man gets up looking as good as when he went to bed? The only thing that looks the same in the morning is the dog.

[tweezers74]

Milt, I don't take it too seriously... Read my first comment. I thought it was funny. Just making my own observations. Believe me, if we were having this conversation in person, you would know I wasn't taking this seriously! I have a lot of guy friends. This is typical conversation and I thoroughly enjoy it!

[tweezers74]

And just to point out, sometimes I think I "act" more like a guy. Maybe that's why I am happier than most women? Lol!

[M.D. Holloway]

Our Son tried to argue a point with Mom tonight. I had to set him straight. "Son, even when you know down in your bones your right, your not. You will never win an arguement with your Mother. Don't argue with her. Its not worth it. Just do as she says and live with it - you will be happier in the long run. You have to trust me on this"

[sc_rufctr]

I like women.

[Lothar]

Originally Posted by tweezers74

FUTURE
"A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife."

OK, I agree that men never worry about the future until he gets a wife but I don't think all women worry about getting a husband. I know some women who avoid it.

Hey Tweezers, Will you marry me?

[tweezers74]

Originally Posted by Lothar

Hey Tweezers, Will you marry me?

Sure. I said I know some women who avoid marriage. I didn't say it was me. But one question before we marry... Are you hot? And more importantly, will you wake up hot? Refer to "natural" above... Thanks.

[dtw]

Oh yeah, Lothar is the hotness. Short for Lothario, in fact.

[Joe Bob]

I don't argue or raise my voice. Waste of time and it annoys my dog.

[ShakinJoe]

Originally Posted by Zeke

tweezers, you can't take this stuff seriously. First of all, what man gets up looking as good as when he went to bed? The only thing that looks the same in the morning is the dog.

I do....Milt!!!