Carpool Melodrama

[M.D. Holloway]

There have many times I bit my lip and not said anything hoping to preserve my reputation. I always regretted it.

Many will tell you to stay cool and be the bigger man. I don't agree. Defend yourself always.

As for car pool experience, I had a great car pool partner. We worked 75 miles away. She was awesome. We became best friends. She worked in the mail room and I was an engineer. We car pooled for over two years. And yes we would hook up from time to time and yes we had sig others. We both ended up getting serious with other people and we took different jobs. She was a friend with bennies. I missed her for the longest time.

[Tobra]

Originally Posted by HardDrive

F him. He's rude.

Yup, life is too short to spend any more time around a holes than you absolutely have to

[WolfeMacleod]

Install an automatic door-opener button. Turn to the left, sharply.

[ledhedsymbols]

An end to this story (I hope.) I drove back to the park and ride, and after I turned off the freeway, I said "Well fellas, what's it going to be? Am I picking you guys up tomorrow or driving myself?"

Ron replied that he thinks we got off on the wrong foot and part of it was maybe his fault (guess that's his idea of an apology) and that we was willing to let it go and start over.

I politely told him that I had made other plans (which are not as convenient but better than driving myself every day) and that I would finish my week driving provided he could keep a civil tongue. Hopefully the week ends without incident, because I will pull off at the next available exit if he can't hold it together for three days.

What a PITA!

[jyl]

I would have terminated the carpool that day. Why drive out the week? He can drive his own nice quiet car.

For that matter, why are you carpooling?

[look 171]

if he's a siht to you, he's already a siht to someone else. IMO, there no need to start a fight, but kill them with kindness. Tell him politely that he can drive his own damn quiet car. Others will realized that you are a nice person being you. But it will take a bit of time. People are dumb or blind. I say this only through common sense but have never actually work in the corp. world beside a teaching job part time.

Love it when they yell. I always say "what?" and they are so pissed that they will always do it again. Then, you do it again.

[VaSteve]

I used to ride in this thing called "slug lines" near DC. You need 3 people for the carpool lane. You either line up as a rider and jump in a car with a stranger or drive and pick up two strangers. I used to ride a lot and picked up a couple. I always had to laugh when riding with folks that I could tell liked different music than I. The radio would quickly go from Jamz to the all news station or smooth jazz. Who the hell likes smooth jazz?

I picked up some folks once and usually people don't talk. At the end of the ride, one rider invited us to her church's Christmas event. I have heard of accidents and speeding tickets in this system. Nothing too dramatic though.

[Porsche-O-Phile]

Some people just aren't happy unless they're miserable.

Fix the exhaust leak, btw. CO poisoning is no fun (although it might be gratifying if this guy got some of it).

[recycled sixtie]

Originally Posted by Porsche-O-Phile

Some people just aren't happy unless they're miserable.

Fix the exhaust leak, btw. CO poisoning is no fun (although it might be gratifying if this guy got some of it).

I see both sides of the situation. As I am of that 60's age I have less tolerance for loud exhausts. Fix the freakin exhaust or else don't bother to car pool. As for his temper tantrum that is totally uncalled for. I see the latter behaviour a lot in our adult condo building at meetings. It is not pretty.
Guy

[Linderpat]

Originally Posted by ledhedsymbols

An end to this story (I hope.) I drove back to the park and ride, and after I turned off the freeway, I said "Well fellas, what's it going to be? Am I picking you guys up tomorrow or driving myself?"

Ron replied that he thinks we got off on the wrong foot and part of it was maybe his fault (guess that's his idea of an apology) and that we was willing to let it go and start over.

I politely told him that I had made other plans (which are not as convenient but better than driving myself every day) and that I would finish my week driving provided he could keep a civil tongue. Hopefully the week ends without incident, because I will pull off at the next available exit if he can't hold it together for three days.

What a PITA!

FWIW, I think you handled it perfectly. I hate carpooling.

[Z-man]

Don't sweat the small stuff. Him complaining about the exhaust leak is small stuff.

Not everyone is going to be happy happy joy joy in the morning, or ever.

It would have been easier to turn up the volume on the radio and ignore him, rather than escalate a trivial matter.

-Z

[mreid]

Let me be clear. Even though I suggested defusing, I wouldn't let the sob back in my car that includes the ride home (well, maybe that one last time if he apologized on his own). I've known quite a few mill wrights. Several were missing fingers or pieces of fingers due to their own actions that they later regretted.

Here's my story. I took a job in Philly and took the train into the city (crappy SEPTA experience). Some how a bridge was damaged and out of commission for four months. People who didn't know each other formed car pools. Three strikes and I was out:

1. Driver smoked and refused to stop. Said he cracked the window to be courteous and tough it was his car. I lasted two days (I hate cigarette smoke and smelled like I smoked).

2. Driver played the radio loud and sang like an alley cat in a fight. She said she couldn't help it and it prepared her for her stressful job. I lasted one week. God, she was hideous!

3. Driver drank a six pack of beer on the way home. Started before he picked us up and always smelled like booze. He was actually a lot of fun, but when he calmly stated that he took the train so he "could drink and not worry about hitting a pedestrian again", I tapped out.

After that, driving myself wasn't so bad.

[tctnd]

Suggest you smoke a cigar all the way home, even if you don't smoke.
regards,
Phil

[sammyg2]

I spend on average 7 hours a week carpooling.
There's just two of us, more than that would get to be a pain.

A decent, well-maintained and reasonably clean car is expected in carpool etiquite. Stereo is OK but not loud, and you should try to find something you all are OK with listening to.

The only conflict we've had so far was that he had a habit of calling his wife on the cell phone, every fricking day as soon as got started, and would talk for 15 or 20 minutes. And his phone went through the stereo speakers.
It was no longer a private conversation, it was their conversation that I was forced to listen to like some boring version of clockwork orange.
After about a week I came right out and told them both in the middle of one of their conversations, "hey, you two really should talk in private so this will be my last day car-pooling with you."
He didn't even realize why at first, then was cool about it and appologized. His wife was a beotch about it, but what else would you expect?


At the end of a long day people want to relax. No, they NEED to relax. To wind down and get the streess out of their heads and calm the heck down. They do not need to be pestered with someone else's obnoxiousness and carelessness.

Riding in a loud car with an exhaust that drones can cause headaches and is pretty damn obnoxious.
The longer the commute the worse it can be. You didn't mention fumes so I'm guessing its just the noise.
It's not a small thing to most people, something like that would drive me up a wall especially on my own car. If I had to put up with a loud car for 7 hours a week I'd get pretty damn annoyed too but I'd like to think I'd handle it with a little more tact.

You had several weeks to get it fixed.
You could stop at a muffler shop and they would weld the crack or replace the muffler or silencer or whatever, 30 minutes tops and a hundred bux. Maybe double that worst case.

Now if you were temporarily strapped for $$$$ I could understand, moving can be expensive.

But if you just didn't get around to it because it wasn't high enough up on the priority list then you were being inconsiderate. Not only to the passengers but to others around you.
How many times did the old man mention it in passing until he finally snapped at you?
Maybe he was tired of hearing the others complain in private and was the only one with the balls to speak up.
He could have handled it a whole lot better but you could have also.

[Sarc]

One time (out of the 5 that I’ve actually carpooled with someone) several years ago, this senior principal at a firm I briefly worked at learned that we lived somewhat in proximity to one another and ‘drafted’ me into carpooling with him. On the first day, I pick him up in my just purchased E30 and the first thing that comes out of his mouth is “what, ‘merican isn’t good enough for you?” I just shrugged my shoulders and politely smiled. Then he proceeded to complain about everything for the next 20 minutes; the music playing, the rough ride of the car, the sun visors where too small, the seats too narrow, on and on and on. He was like aunt Edna from Vacation. Then he critiqued my anticipatory driving technique that he labeled as “aggressive”. Once again, I just shrugged my shoulders and politely smiled. What are you going to do?

With 15 minutes to go, he directs me to stop at a gas and sip to drop a deauce and get some coffee. I pull in and let him do his thing. 10 minutes later he comes out with a frown on his face and big 64oz cup of joe. Must have been tough going in the mens room.
He’s a couple steps from the car when I back out of the spot into the drive lane. “What the hell is wrong with you?” he asks as he shakes his head and keeps walking towards my car. I shrug my shoulders, shine a big smile, give him the bird and rip out of the lot.
Needless to say I didn’t last long at that firm, but every so often in your life you need to have an “F-it” moment, consequences be damned. In the end, life is too short for a-holes.

[look 171]

Is carpooling mandatory by the company or voluntary, milage pay? I don't have a corp. job, so I don't know. If its voluntary, I would fly off the handle if some bumpy old dude is btiching about everything and I am giving them a ride.

[craigster59]

I would go home and gorge myself on dark beer, hard boiled eggs and beans. Pick him up for work in the AM, activate the "window lock" feature and pass gas all the way to work. But then again, I can be pretty juvenile.

[porsche4life]

Craig, you forgot to mention that you were going to skip the shower too. Make it really miserable!

[craigster59]

Originally Posted by porsche4life

Craig, you forgot to mention that you were going to skip the shower too. Make it really miserable!

Nah, I'd probably just douse myself in cheap cologne. Nothing like the smell of a mixture of Brut and an SBD.

[look 171]

that may work well for you Craig, but my siht or fart don't stink