Pre Nuptial Agreements

[varmint]

spent the last few decades watching friends from school get destroyed by marriages gone bad.

now i'm 40 and this gal has her hooks into me pretty good. we're on a path to marriage. but...






who here can educate me on the basics? seems like a porsche forum would have some knowledge.

[Baz]

My 3 general rules for survival:

1. Don't get married
2. Don't let any romantic interest move in with you
3. Don't date anyone with kids still living at home

No need for a pre-nup if you follow my rules for survival.

*There are 'some' exceptions to my 3 rules.........but not very many so be careful....

[sc_rufctr]

It's good you're thinking about it but I can't think of a more effective way of upsetting your new lady.
Maybe you've talked about it with your lady and she's is OK with it but IME most aren't.

What I did after I divorced is set-up a "family trust".

[recycled sixtie]

This has nothing to do with prenup. If in doubt about marriage don't do it. Unlucky first time for me. Lucky second time.
G.

[MBAtarga]

Where does this gal fall on the crazy beotch chart?

[nostatic]

Prenup is basically guaranteeing failure. I'm twice divorced and was not screwed over by either one during the process. Current marriage is third and last and a prenup was never on my mind or discussed.

"Marriages gone bad" take two, and often the guys who get "screwed over" did all the wrong things to get to that point. Anyone who says it was all her fault is deluded...

[varmint]

we've been living together for over a year now. if the sanity is just an act she's a master at it. it's been going great. we do everything together surprisingly well.

but again, i've watched good friends ruined financially and mentally. seems that a simple document saying what's mine is mine and what's your's is yours shouldn't be that big a deal.

[nostatic]

Originally Posted by varmint

seems that a simple document saying what's mine is mine and what's your's is yours shouldn't be that big a deal.

Good luck with that...unfortunately sounds like you'll end up like your friends.

[varmint]

Originally Posted by nostatic

Good luck with that...unfortunately sounds like you'll end up like your friends.

i'm not the one with two divorces and counting. maybe you should step aside and let some others offer advice.

[sc_rufctr]

Originally Posted by varmint

i'm not the one with two divorces and counting. maybe you should step aside and let some others offer advice.

That was uncalled for. You asked for advice and when you read something you don't want to agree with you hit back.............

[onewhippedpuppy]

Quote de varmint

seems that a simple document saying what's mine is mine and what's your's is yours shouldn't be that big a deal.

Good luck with that...unfortunately sounds like you'll end up like your friends.

Yup. Planning your divorce prior to marriage is a bad way to start. If there's any doubt, time to abort.

[nostatic]

Originally Posted by varmint

i'm not the one with two divorces and counting. maybe you should step aside and let some others offer advice.

You asked. Happily married, 3rd time was a charm. Took me time and work to figure out why I was making bad choices. Then again I didn't wait until I was 40 but ymmv. Good luck.

[Don Ro]

Originally Posted by nostatic

Good luck with that...unfortunately sounds like you'll end up like your friends.

Not necessarily.
It all depends on if the woman has her own portfolio, a good FICO score, successful in her chosen career goals, etc.
If a woman wants to "be" with her man for reasons other than financial gain, I see no issue with a simple doc...as per the suggestion. If she has insecurities about that then that's what couples therapy is all about.
.
I'm engaged and my desire for a pre-nup no longer exists. I'm 68 and I'd be willing to leave everything to my fiance...including my S. Security - as I understand it, we'd have to be married for 10 yrs for her to have that.
At the same time, people change and no matter how gifted we think we are at assessing our partner's psychological atmosphere, there's always the risk of losing your ass.
.
My thoughts.

[LakeCleElum]

I have a basic Pre-nup. When I got re- married in 1993 after 9 years of buying motorcycles and sports cars. My home was paid for and so was my cabin..She had 2 kids, I have one....It's best to for each have the document reviewed by your own attorney.

I got married as her youngest was moving out of the house, I needed more supervision and someone to spend my money.

Now 20 yrs later, I want to sell that house and the cabin.....I hesitate as she thinks the pre-nup has "expired". During a recent process of having our wills and a trust established, she let it be known, if I passed 1st, she should have total say where that money would be going......

So, I have 2 homes I should sell, but haven't done it yet.......Don't tie the knot w/o a Pre-Nup. Baz gives good advice.

[Baz]

Originally Posted by varmint

i'm not the one with two divorces and counting. maybe you should step aside and let some others offer advice.

Uh oh.....you're in what's commonly known as the "denial stage"......get out while you can!!!

[sc_rufctr]

Seriously... Look into a "family trust" but considering you've been living together for 12 months it may be too late.

[greglepore]

See a competent local atty...

Prenups are entirely enforceable if there is full disclosure of assets. Whether they're a good idea emotionally is another matter entirely.

[Don Ro]

Even a revocable living trust requires that the other party sign-off the release when said trust is no longer desired.

[varmint]

hope is not a plan.

i don't PLAN on getting in an accident every time i start up the motorcycle. but i wear a helmet anyway. i don't PLAN on my house catching fire. but i am insured. etc. etc.

it always starts well. i've watched some really great guys marry really nice girls. and then watched them tear each other apart ten-fifteen-twenty years later. a simple piece of paper signed before hand could have let everyone walk away intact.

no static's "response" was insulting and not even close to answering my question. he got the response called for.

[Don Ro]

I used to play tennis w/a divorce attorney who said that judges loved pre-nups.
"Is this your sig., Mrs. ABC?"
"Is this your sig., Mr. ABC?"
.
"I rule as per this pre-nup."