Arggh! Damage to my son's car this am...how would you guys handle this?
 

OK, time for my rant and I'll apologize in advance for how long this post is!

Because we live on an acreage, our garbage man is kind enough to drive in and park next to our garage to pick up the trash. And so he did as usual this morning at 8am. I'm in our living room observing him when I see my son dash out to the garage and get into his car. He's on his way to univ classes. I'm thinking I should just run out there and tell him to be careful as the G truck is in the driveway but I figured he'd see him before backing up. WELL, SURE ENOUGH.....BAMM!......PHHACKKK!!! He comes running back in, obviously upset.

Meanwhile my wife has now heard about this and is there with us asking what the commotion is all about. I can't hold back and so I tear a strip out of him. She says..."Ok, it's not his fault. He didn't know he was there!" "WHAT? It's 110% his fault! What is the first thing you should do before backing up? What if the guy was standing there? What if it was another person or child or Bodi (our dog)?". OK, so I'm just pissed while my wife is consoling our son, who is near tears at this point.

So luckily he hit the G truck on his front right hub with no damage...the gentleman waves it off and apologizes for "being a little late this time". I shake his hand and apologize on my son's behalf and he drives off.

Meanwhile:

http://forums.pelicanparts.com/uploa...1423691854.jpg

I figure that these modern bumpers just pop off in a low impact collision. I can see that there are some plastic brackets that have broken so my thought is to try and order the brackets and attempt a home repair.

So how would this be handled in your household? My son is 18 and in his first year at univ with no significant savings. As we live out of town, taking transit to classes is not an option for him. He needs a vehicle. The vehicle is a 2005 Mazda 3 2.3L with just over 100K Km on the clock.

(a) "Son, you're on your own here!"

(b) "I can probably fix it for you son but it'll look like a home repair. When you get a summer job you can have it repaired at the Mazda dealership on your dime". (aprox $1000, I figure)

(c) "Alex, don't be such a cheap bastard! Have it fixed and suck it up. He's your son!" (I can guarantee that this is what my wife will insist on!)

(d) As per (c) but "charge him later" or have him pay it back month to month, say $100 per month until paid off.

I'll be leaning to (b) with further discussion with him to be held this evening.

Gentlemen and ladies of PPOT...what say youze guyz?

OK, RANT OVER!!!:mad:

"D"take the hit and eat it

- find a matching bumper at the scrappers, and put it on.. Better than a big collision that many times happens when you are a kid. Just a rookie mistake. You got off lucky.

rjp

Been there done it daughter had the whole side of the car taking off repaired and kept the peace in the family

B) Fix it as best you can...if he doesn't like it, he's more than welcome to pay to have it done professionally.

I went through this when I was near your son's age (I was a senior in HS), only I had a minor accident in my Dad's truck. My parents opted for d and then added an e: I would pay the difference in the insurance premium due to the accident. I paid for everything.

Has to be that way.

I left my car in the driveway a couple years ago and my wife backed into it from the garage. Totally my fault apparently...

Young drivers (and my wife) make these kinds of mistakes. I made many similar mistakes at 18 as well. My son, who will be 18 this month, backed into a P/U in the Vons parking lot. Our insurance paid the guys claim (bogus but another topic) and I bought a used tail light that he paid for in sweat equity and he helped install it.

So I guess D).

Fix it together A dad son bonding time.

Any of the above depending on how much of a dumbass my kid has been about other things.

Most likely B.

B, work on it together and have him help.

It is his fault, one always needs to look behind them.

Wait, your son gets a garage space? My car was on the curb.

I had a similar accident when I was 17 in my gorgeous BMW 2002 roundie. It sat in the shop's yard until I had earned enough money as a furniture mover that summer to pay for the repair. Sure was fun earning that money with no car to get to/from work. My folks were really hard on me about it too, but nothing they said was as bad as not having that awesome car.

Then...... my dad did exactly this below to my car when it was back home in the driveway.

By then it was looking rough, so we totaled it out on his insurance, home repaired it and I took the money and had a great European vacation before I started college and didn't need the car anymore. When life hands you lemons...

Recently did something like to this to my Xterra. New front shell and fender liner, light paintwork was $800 out the door.

I'd see if my son and I could fix it. If it was out of capabilities you'd have to get it repaired, however the last place I would look for estimates is the dealership. Lots of guys out there doing this type of body work in home shops. I'd be surprised if there wasn't someone in your local PCA or other car club that could help with installation and paint on a new bumper shell.

We were all young and dumb at one time. Do the cheap fix so he can get to school.

Option B or D.

Bumper covers are pretty easy to replace. getting it painted might cost around $500 or so. Although it looks like you could just zip a few tek screws through that cover and get it back on.

You screw your car up, you fix your car. We've been through this with BOTH kids. Something like this is NOT worth reporting to the insurance company and with a 10 year old car - 100K on the clock, not really worth a lot of out-of-pocket cash either.

If the skin is OK/cosmetically damaged and it's just the clips that are broken, buy them and reuse the skin. It's not hard to do, just a bit fiddly.

If the skin is torn through at the attachment points, get a matching rear bumper skin and install it. The rear bumper is cheap because its usually the front one that gets taken out in an accident.

It's an accident and a rather silly one at that. Between the repair, the scare, and the butt-pealing you gave him, he'll be more careful in the future. Especially after laying on the frozen winter ground fixing his car. ;) (been there...done that).

angela

Choice F.

Tape the tag to the back and let him drive it as is until he can afford to fix it. The reality of responsibility.

If he wants it fixed faster let give him a hand finding a salvage bumper and fitting that.

krikey, just zip tie the thing back on.
Make the punishment fit the crime.
Jim

I think it looks BETTER without that piece that fell off. Think Road Warrior.....you could be a trend setter in your neighborhood!

Just duck tape the license plate to the rear hatch and you're all set.

You're welcome!

a, b (with his help) or f

It's just the bumper. It's not like the car isn't drivable like that assuming you can get the plate attached some how.

Who? Me?....never!

(e) Leave it as it, "very JDM!"

My son had a similar, but less damaging, accident.
I had him get 3 estimates.
I did not report it to insurance, and had him pay for it- used up the money he was saving to get a new guitar. Yes I felt bad, but it was time for a lesson.
He was much more careful after that event- money well spent
Gary

I vote "B" . There will be plenty of lessons to be learned. He is your son.

Kids grow up fast...real fast! Give him a hug, tell him you love him and let him know you are glad he didn't get hurt...use this as a learning experience and guidance towards the future.

Cars come and go, how you handle this with him will last forever. See what he wants to do, lead him to make a good decision about the repair. I did the same thing twice when I was his age, my son did it once. He just turned 39 and we are still wrenching on cars together, I treasure the moments.

Bolt the bumper back on, throw a carbon wrap on it or rattle can it...then call it a day. Tell him "he" made a good decision and a good repair...lead by example.

Bolt a 2x10 on. Cone of shame. :D

I would ask you, whose car is it?
His or yours?

I'm surprised that that much damage can occur in such a short distance of travel, or was he able to get up to speed getting out of the garage?

For what it's worth, here are a few pictures of my son at age 19, changing his front bumper, not because of an accident, but because he wanted to. When there's an investment of time, energy, sweat and a little bit of money too, it's amazing what kids can do on their own.

http://forums.pelicanparts.com/uploa...1423698203.jpg


http://forums.pelicanparts.com/uploa...1423698219.jpg

Me? I'd put the plate on that rear bar with some zip ties and let him use it 'till he can fix it himself. He'll learn more from the lesson that way, IMO.

I would take this way.He wont forget.

b, if you can do it together and the result is good enough to suit you both or c/d where you pay to get it fixed (if it is not too large a burden on you) with the agreement that he will work it off (assuming you have something that he can do to help out) working every other Saturday at a reasonable fair rate.

I did similar with my daughter where we compromised. I paid half (because I am generous and want here to spend her time on her studies) and she paid the other half (because she was at fault and wanted the car to look better than the "road warrior" version). She learned her lesson; I only had to pay half (so my cruel wife was ok with it) and I still got to be my daughter's favorite cool Dad. Her grades remained good enough to keep her scholarship and get an additional one...so we both made out well in the end. She is a Doctor now and pays her own way.

At this age, too much discipline and they move out and live on the street, get strange tattoos/piercings and hate you. Too little and they are still drinking all your beer and living in your basement at 50.

Your options need to include your son fixing it himself with as little help from you as necessary. In the mean time, zip tie the license plate to the bumper to buy you two some time to figure it out.

Edit: Always remind your kid that in a couple years he will be on his own, so need to get used to figuring things out himself.

Typical mom and dad reaction BTW - this is why it is good kids have 2 parents ...

G

This, or maybe offer to help him repair it.

Fixed that for ya. :D

Update the car a bit:


https://bbccupholder.files.wordpress...12/boso-1.jpeg

Check eBay. New and used bumper covers are pretty cheap there. Some sellers include painting to match as part of the price.

Schitt! Can't have that! He's already drinkin' ma beer!....good advice fintstone!:D

How did we manage to handle stuff like back then when we're still wet behind the ears and have no money going to school? Somehow we made it work and learn from it without asking our folks. Even if I ask, my dad would have said, I can fix it but why, what's wrong with a used red bumper on a blue car? It happened to me too, but I made sure it happened only one time.

I say have him search for a used bumper on his own and put it together with him. If he has no money, pay for the bumper but have him go out and buy it and bring it home.

I like the zip tie option, as mentioned earlier.

Your intuition told you to warn him, but you blew it off. Then you went off on him.

After you beat the dog for peeing on the carpet, you are supposed to let him know that you love him. I would suggest that in some way you do that.

^Yes, I should have gone with my gut instinct DD but.....he is an adult..

Hand him a roll of duct tape and tell him, "Here's a lesson you won't learn at Uni: Life's hard. It's even harder when you're stupid. Don't be stupid."

U can't FIX stupid.

Fixed:
http://forums.pelicanparts.com/uploa...1423708709.jpg