I'm adopted!

[slodave]

I had a great day yesterday. One if my aunts stopped by my brothers house and after going out to lunch - where I was able to see more of the town(s) - we spent the afternoon back at his house looking at old pictures of him, pictures of his wedding and several albums of Halloween party pix (he takes Halloween very seriously and his costumes are out of this world - he starts making them 8 months in advance).

Later in the afternoon I met their 6 year old son. He doesn't know I'm his uncle yet. His mom told him I was a friend of his father. There could be some complications if he knows at this time, since he'd probably start asking a lot of questions to his grandmother - my bmom, who knows I'm here, but still does not want to meet me.

Today I'll meet at least one cousin, maybe her daughter and family as well. Tonight, my brother is trying to get some of his friends over so we can do some drinking and watch horror movies.

Despite never having met in person until now, we are finding out we have a lot in common! We have a lot of the same interests, we both seem to have the artistic gene from our mom (hence his costume and set making abilities for Halloween).

All in all, it's been a tremendous success so far. The one bummer is that my bmom still has her ghosts in the closet.

Tomorrow I visit my grandparents house/property, where my aunt now lives. This is the house where I was actually born. I think I'll meet more relatives there as well.

Onwards!

[Seahawk]

I re-read this thread over coffee this morning and simply could not get it out of my mind.

I have nothing to offer other than my complete respect for the choices all the adopted folks who posted in this thread have made.

Dave, may your journeys successes continue.

[Baz]

Hey Dave...thanks for the update. I'm really happy for you - good stuff taking place.

I agree with Paul's comment plus utmost respect for your birth family.

Be patient - in time your bmom will come around I'm sure.

All the best, Baz

[slodave]

Thank you once again!

I would hope that my bmom comes around at some point and it's a bit sad that I won't be able to meet her (yet), but I've had 43 years to deal with all the scenarios. Emotionally, it's not been as rough/challenging as some reunions. I think a part of this is due to social media and having been privy to parts of our lives that way. My brother and his wife keep asking how I'm doing - I think because I hae a tendency to keep emitions internalized.

We haven't taken any pix yet, but I'll post some when we do.

Hopefully this thread can help someone else out there, whether it be a forum member or a lurker.

I can understand that some adoptees have zero interest in finding their family, but a lot of us also want to close a chapter in their lives and hopefully open a new one. As I grew older, it became more important for me to find out where I came from. There's been this piece of me that has been missing.

On that note, breakfast in my hotel is done. Time for me to finish getting ready and call my brother to come and pick me up.

[911_Dude]

Congratulations slodave on reconnecting with your blood relatives. I was fortunate enough to find my bio-mom and father about 5 years ago and it has been a great experience. Met 3 half sisters and one half brother and everyone has been very welcoming about it.

It was a great relief that I didnt even know I needed relieved until it was done. Its been very interesting to see the things I inherited from my parents and the things I learned from the ones that raised me.

Ive met a few people that were adopted and found their mother. Most didnt want to be contacted. Its their loss. Its been nothing but a positive experience for me. My only regret is that they both live on opposite sides of the country and dont get to see them much.

[look 171]

Geez Dave, I don't know how you can hold all that inside? I would have been crying like a little kid. Just reading your two posts left me a little limp in my throat. Good luck. I sure hope you'll get to see your Biological Mom soon.

I may have been 7, the woman across the street were good friends with my folks. One day, she came over and ask us to hide her because her bio-daughter was coming to see her for the first time with some of their family member. I still remember her peeking through our blinds sobbing away as soon as the car pulled up into her driveway. They rang her door bell for some time finally, went away. I still remember her telling my mother that she was not ready and couldn't do it. Much later, I remember hearing that they eventually met up after sometime.

[slodave]

Originally Posted by 911_Dude

Congratulations slodave on reconnecting with your blood relatives. I was fortunate enough to find my bio-mom and father about 5 years ago and it has been a great experience. Met 3 half sisters and one half brother and everyone has been very welcoming about it.

It was a great relief that I didnt even know I needed relieved until it was done. Its been very interesting to see the things I inherited from my parents and the things I learned from the ones that raised me.

Ive met a few people that were adopted and found their mother. Most didnt want to be contacted. Its their loss. Its been nothing but a positive experience for me. My only regret is that they both live on opposite sides of the country and dont get to see them much.

That's awesome! I'm happy things worked out for you. Hopefully despite the distance, you are in contact via social media in between the visits. My birth family and I couldn't be further apart unless I lived in Hawaii. I hope to visit in the near future again, but it will be in shorts weather or in fall so I can combine the trip with some photography of the trees as they are changing.

[slodave]

[QUOTE=look 171;8978988]Geez Dave, I don't know how you can hold all that inside? I would have been crying like a little kid. Just reading your two posts left me a little limp in my throat. Good luck. I sure hope you'll get to see your Biological Mom soon.[QUOTE]

I think years ago I put up walls and don't show many emotions externally. Internally, I am now becoming overwhelmed with the emotions, though yet to crack. But again, I think being in contact via social media for a few years now has helped. As far as our current lives, we get to see that via Facebook, it's all the details that are coming out in person now that is starting to hit.

As far as my bmom, time will tell... I just have to keep that wall up for the mean time.

[slodave]

Another good day. I was able to meet one of my cousins that has been in contact via FB for the past few years. My brother, his wife, and din visited the university here where they both work. Once I live in Cali and almost every building is "new", it was nice to walk through and see the various campus buildings that date back to the late 1800's. I really like to visit our "old world", though I am really facsinated with the "older world" of Europe.

It's now almost 3am and I am back in my hotel room. Later today we go visit the house where I was actually born and meet a few more family members. I think this might get emotional for me. Hopefully we'll take a lot of family photos together at that time.

Everyone wants me to come back soon and I will - but when the weather is warmer.

I have not fully internally processed all this yet, but I am happy I finally made the decision to fly out and take this step.

[onewhippedpuppy]

Dave, thanks for the continued updates. Sounds like things are going very well, I'm really happy for you.

[berettafan]

I simply could not find it in my heart to forgive family who gave me up.

Those of you who can are surely better men than me. it seems you are reaping the rewards of being a better man. Good on ya.

[stealthn]

Great to hear Dave.

I am still torn if I should cintact my half brother as I don't think my bmother has told her kids about me. My wife says go for it, but I am vexed worring if I should or not...

[slodave]

Originally Posted by onewhippedpuppy

Dave, thanks for the continued updates. Sounds like things are going very well, I'm really happy for you.

Thank you!

Originally Posted by berettafan

I simply could not find it in my heart to forgive family who gave me up.

Those of you who can are surely better men than me. it seems you are reaping the rewards of being a better man. Good on ya.

I'm sorry you feel that way. I am wiped at the moment form every side, but this journey has answered many question about where I came from and who I am. Even though I am wiped at the moment and the emotions are still running high, I know I am more complete now and will be going home much happier tomorrow.

Originally Posted by stealthn

Great to hear Dave.

I am still torn if I should cintact my half brother as I don't think my bmother has told her kids about me. My wife says go for it, but I am vexed worring if I should or not...

This is hard for me to weigh in on. On the one hand, I think it would be great if you could establish some sort of communication, but on the other hand, in my case, there were and are a number of family members that were aware at the time that I existed and was given up for adoption. I will have to think more on this, before I can give you my opinion.

[slodave]

My journey is coming to coming to a close, but after today, a lot has been answered and I am looking forward to coming back to visit again soon.

Today was a bit emotional. While visiting the farm where I was born, my aunt surprised me with a early birthday cake and b-day card (my b-day is coming up in the next week and I will be back home). I was also able to visit the room in my grandparents house where I was born. The family members I have met so far have been so welcoming. My aunt, brother, and his wife want me to visit again this summer and stay longer. While saying goodbye to my aunt, I finally broke down and even more on the ride home to my brother's house. I had a lot of fun walking around parts of the 40 acres(?) of the farm. I think I would have had a lot of fun growing up there if things had been different.

This has truly been a positive experience for all of us. I am so happy that I finally made the first trip out here to Pennsylvania to close (mostly) this chapter in my life and open a new one. Even though I have a lot of emotions still running through me, I am a happier person now.

Tomorrow is a quiet day visiting a few more sites relating to the area I was born and then the plane ride home in the late afternoon back to the West Coast.

The house where I was born. This big city kid was actually born as a country baby.

I wish we had taken the pic before the sun went behind the hills, but at least I have this to look back on and I will be back soon.

[GH85Carrera]

It is cool that you can reconnect with your biological family. I have know a couple of adopted people that reconnected and had a positive outcome. Good on you for putting fort the effort, and finding a new chapter in your life, and sharing with the Pelican family.

[slodave]

Quick post. My Delta flight was delayed 4 times, so I get to get up at 4:15am to catch a 6:20amEST flight home. Spending the night with my brother and his family.

I'll do a final follow up tomorrow.

[look 171]

I am really happy for you Dave. It sounded like a great trip. i bet the second trip is going to be even better. Welcome home, Encionman