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-   -   Time to pull the keys... (http://forums.pelicanparts.com/showthread.php?t=910134)

Scott Douglas 04-13-2016 01:36 PM

Time to pull the keys...
 
It's time to take the keys away from my father-in-law, but rather than do that we'd rather just disable the car so it won't start.
I'd rather not disconnect the battery and kill everything like the radio etc.
Is there a fuse I can pull instead, that will keep it from starting but won't kill all the other 'stuff'?
The car is a 2004 Lexus ES350 and I'd like to do the same to his 1994 Saturn Vue.
I really don't think he'd attempt to drive himself anywhere, but we'd like to be sure he doesn't.
Any help would be appreciated.
Thanks.

Arizona_928 04-13-2016 01:49 PM

fuel pump relay/fuse...

Scott Douglas 04-13-2016 01:52 PM

Good idea, thanks.
I think I'm too close to the problem to have seen that answer.

stomachmonkey 04-13-2016 01:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AZ_porschekid (Post 9078311)
fuel pump relay/fuse...

Yup, was very accessible in one of my prior cars so used to use that trick as an anti theft device.

Brando 04-13-2016 02:03 PM

If he knows to check the fuses, maybe pull the wire from the fuel pump itself.

Scott Douglas 04-13-2016 02:06 PM

No need to worry there, he's not a car guy and would probably have trouble opening the hood now as he's up in years.

Baz 04-13-2016 03:22 PM

Sorry to hear you're going through this, Scott....much respect for handling your responsibilities to your father. Keep us posted if we can help.....

john70t 04-13-2016 03:36 PM

How to lie. Respectfully.
And face reality and pain.

KFC911 04-13-2016 03:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Baz (Post 9078429)
Sorry to hear you're going through this, Scott....much respect for handling your responsibilities to your father. Keep us posted if we can help.....

There have been a few threads on this topic cover the years....not an easy decision to make or follow through on. Best wishes Scott...

1990C4S 04-13-2016 04:51 PM

Tell him the truth and give him a taxi card. Pay his bill and sleep better.

Any other solution might fail, dealing with it head on is difficult but permanent.

Cajundaddy 04-13-2016 04:58 PM

My Mom started getting lost so she decided it was time to stop driving. Yay! Definitely not always that easy. Best wishes for success Scott.

Gogar 04-13-2016 05:00 PM

I agree that you should try to have a conversation about it so you don't have to lie to him.

It will serve you better and give you a clearer head.

You may have already tried though, sorry for your troubles.

john70t 04-13-2016 05:16 PM

There are a hundred different types of dementia:
1). Some are slow (#1 Alzheimer's).
A slow gradual drop over half a decade or more. Gradual fade out.

2). Some are fast (#2 Lewy Bodies).
A loss of memory combined with Parkinson's. Three years. Shakes. Everything. Roller coaster.

3). Some might possibly be medically treatable for a now.
If you don't ask, you don't know.

Forget your childhood angst.
Respect them and adapt.
Have patience.
Make good memories while you still both can.

Research 'sundowners syndrome'.

onewhippedpuppy 04-13-2016 05:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 1990C4S (Post 9078545)
Tell him the truth and give him a taxi card. Pay his bill and sleep better.

Any other solution might fail, dealing with it head on is difficult but permanent.

Yup. That way it is clear. My parents had to do it with my grandmother, it's not an easy thing.

1990C4S 04-14-2016 03:58 AM

You know they are really old when you have to take away their bicycle...I'm about to do that.

tabs 04-14-2016 04:27 AM

Read a story about a 100 year old lady that lived on lake Huron in MI that got in her car and drove it into the lake. Found out she had had a heart attack and was dead before she hit the water.

Or the 100 year old guy in Ohio that bought himself a brand new 425 hp Camaro.

Or the 102 year old guy who remembered the 1906 San Francisco earthquake AND was still working part time in a grocery store in SF.

A friend of mine works in a grocery warehouse in SCAL. Bin there since 1982....34 years. ..and still has over 30 guys with more seniority than he has. One guy has close to 50 years in the place is in his mid to late 80's, puts all the overtime he can get in and drives a new Vette.

afterburn 549 04-14-2016 08:23 AM

You have to do this DEICATLY, with INSIGHT into his personality (and yours).
Just to rip the privilege away would be beyond rude, a violation of being a human.
I do not know the situation, BUT , I have seen way too many kids think they have a god particle for decision making ! They know what is right, and yet do it all wrong.
Remember- IF you are lucky, you will get old, treat them how you want to be treated .
It is a BIG freedom you asking ( in your case taking ) to relinquish and in this case described, sabotaged and taken.
In my opinion, there is and are far more better ways to broach the subject rather than cloak and dagger.
Honesty is your friend, not your enemy.
PS- perhaps a salve of diplomacy and delicacy,-
A goal for both of you to work towards with an outreach or a goal to help him in other ways to travel about.
(Rather then just get ones freedom ripped from them.)

ckelly78z 04-14-2016 09:33 AM

Try to be gentle with him, and appeal to his reasonable, safety consious side. Just yanking his priveledges will not doubt make him mad, but maybe you can give him other options suches uber, other family members, or friends and niegbors.

My FIL is getting to that point, he is 79 years old, and in the last few years has beat the coners in on both his minivan, and his pickup truck. He just gets a bit careless when making manuevers in a parking lot, or the campground. He has a new backup camera on his camper, and knocked it off twice from hitting a tree, and a pole with it.

1990C4S 04-14-2016 10:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by afterburn 549 (Post 9079349)
It is a BIG freedom you asking ( in your case taking ) to relinquish and in this case described, sabotaged and taken.

In my opinion, there is and are far more better ways to broach the subject rather than cloak and dagger.
Honesty is your friend, not your enemy.

(Rather then just get ones freedom ripped from them.)

You lose neither your freedom nor your independence if you can call a cab or Uber. It is merely an inconvenience.

I agree on the 'no cloak and dagger'...

afterburn 549 04-14-2016 10:20 AM

If it was THAT EZ , we all would use a UBER or a Taxi.
It is NOT that EZ.


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