U guys ever get scared of dying ?

[impactbumper]

Originally Posted by herr_oberst

I watched "Bridge of Spies" the other evening.

The running line throughout was the Russian spy asking "Would that help" every time the Tom Hanks character asks him why he's not worried.

Fred, would it help?

great movie btw

[bivenator]

50 here. The thought of dying has become a frequent visitor lately. My parents are nearing their ends and I recently lost a friend to a sudden heart attack so I have been preoccupied with it.

I don't think it the idea of being dead that has me concerned but more to do with the process of dying. My dad is in early Alzheimers and has shown so much class and dignity throughout his life and this has carried through to his impending death.

The thought of stroking out and being incapacitated for years or being demented is very disturbing.

My wife and I had a late life surprise baby so my goal is to see her through to 40. A poster above estimated that he had 25 summers left, when you put numbers on it in that manner it is pretty sobering.
Get out and get living indeed.

[look 171]

I think about it sometimes.

Its not death i am worry about, it all that siht and tubes running in and out of you the last few years where you can't even wipe your own ass that worries me. My father is going through that now. He's on a vent in some home. He's just "there". He's been really active and was driving up until 3 months ago when he went into the ER. I spent days there with him and go there daily to check up in him and keep him company. That really hit home and that's no way to live.

[manbridge 74]

Never.

[BeyGon]

Been that - close at least twice, the medics thought I was dead once but I fooled them, so no, not so much. My biggest worry is will my wife and her new boyfriend then take my ashes and spread them on the beaches I always wanted to go to.

[wdfifteen]

Originally Posted by Shaun @ Tru6

Every day is an adventure, a chance for great fun, a chance to make someone else's life a little better, an opportunity to do something you've never done before, a day to love and be loved by those around you. Every day is great. Even the ones that aren't.

Perfect! That is pretty much my attitude, but at 66 I'm beginning to hear footsteps behind me. Something is catching up and I don't have the energy to walk faster.

[ckelly78z]

At 51, I've spent my entire life battling the side effects of cancer, and the chemotherapy to fix it. I've had hodkins lymphoma 3 times, and heart failure several times from one of the original cancer drugs. This has ruined my teeth, my spleen, and my kidneys.

Most people would never know I have this many problems, because I walk around with a quick smile on my face, and usually a good attitude. I have an abnormally high tolerance for pain, but death doesn't scare me a bit. I have planned accordingly for my family, and am right with God, so actually, death would be a bit of a relief of my constant fight.

[Bowling]

Our lives are short fast fred.

[JD159]

Originally Posted by Porsche-O-Phile

Nobody gets out of this alive. I'm not too far off from your age and I think about it from time to time... My parents are declining and I doubt they'll be around too much longer so it's hard not to think about it when people close to you are facing it. A close friend of mine is also a hospice nurse so death being a part of life is semi-regular conversation.

To answer your question, no I don't fear it. I probably will have anxiety (as just about everyone does) when it's imminent, but I don't fear it. I am solidly atheist and don't believe in any kind of afterlife or "god" figure that i'm going to interact with after I go. I made my peace with that a long time ago. I'm very comfortable with that notion - I just hope that I achieve my goal of making the world a (slightly) better place for my having been part of it. If not, then I've accomplished nothing (that's a pretty distressing thought to me). I think the best thing we can do with our time here is make the world more compassionate, happy and enjoyable for those we leave behind.

My biggest fear isn't death per se, but not being around for those who might actually see some value in me (like my kids). That one is a bit jarring but if I do my job and get a little bit lucky, they'll be at a point in their lives where they're self-sufficient and able to thrive on their own without me. That's the whole point as I see it. If they get to that point, I've done my job and I can peacefully accept whatever fate befalls me.

The lessons, values, morals and wisdom we pass onto our kids are what we leave behind. It is though those things that we attain "immortality". I'm sure that who I am today is in no small part the result of handed-down lessons, values, experiences, etc. from many, many generations ago from long-forgotten relatives I'll never know. They live on through me - I hope to live on (somewhat) though those who follow me.

A concept I came up with while studying philos.

1) All else being equal, something is better than nothing.

2) If something is better than nothing, then something happening when you die is better than nothing happening when you die.

3) Therefore believing something happens when you die is better than believing nothing will happen when you die, and if nothing happens you won't realize it anyway.



Just some food for thought!

Yes yes not fully fleshed out. "Better" isn't even defined, but just a perspective.

[Ferraripete]

just turned 50. I think about it too often. this year has been tough. it scares me. I try to stay busy, focused and successful but it means so little in the end. life is indeed short. I feel like I just need to hug and kiss my son more...and hope it will be enough.

[KFC911]

Originally Posted by craigster59

I just follow the "Keith Richards Regimen". No problems so far, seems to be working for him.

"It's great to be here tonight...hell, it's great to be anywhere tonight" - Keef

One of the reasons I opted out of the corporate world some years back after careful consideration. Our time is finite....once you reach a certain point, chasing $ you'll never spend seems foolish imo.

Gone fishin'....

I'm 56.

[Shaun @ Tru6]

I really want to know what's on the other side. But I can wait.

[flyenby]

I watched 19 yr olds die in Vietnam, I was 19 at the time. Not really afraid of death, I think of all those years I got, that they did not.....and all the close calls in the bush

[Porsche-O-Phile]

That's the part that sucks. I am seriously considering a "do not treat / DNR" just so I don't have to go through that kind of hell. If it's my time then I just want it to be my time and be done with it. It's horrible seeing what we put people through in their so-called "golden years". My dad is having a helluva time right now and it's difficult to watch (but I'm powerless to do anything about it not having a proxy...)

It's mind-boggling to me that our supposedly enlightened society hasn't openly accepted euthanasia and assisted suicide yet as options for those at the end of life (although it's going that way finally - albeit extremely slowly). It galls me to think that a person who's miserable, suffering and has no quality of life can be made to languish for years simply because the insurance industry refuses to let assisted suicide laws become reality (it'll screw up their precious actuarial tables - they're the staunchest opponents of assisted suicide and euthanasia laws along with religious zealots).

About two years ago a coworker of mine was about a month from retirement - he had it all planned out and was predictably giddy - totally stoked looking forward to it. Then one day he just wasn't there anymore - just disappeared - gone. It turns out he'd thrown himself in front of a commuter train and offed himself. Apparently he'd gone to the doc the week before and they found out he had cancer - not fully metastasized but bad enough where he was looking at a real helluva fight with not-so-great odds. Poof! There had gone the retirement dreams that has been his motivation for the last several years and which he'd been so looking forward to with joy and elation. Up in smoke - just like that. They'd been replaced with visions of lying in bed with tubes sticking out of him and wasting away to nothing. The prospect of living all of his post-work years (that he'd been counting down the months, weeks and days to for quite a while!) in and out of surgery, chemo, living with feeding tubes and all the rest sticking out of him basically waiting to die was apparently just too much to handle. I can't say I really blame him. The real kick in the gut was hearing how his wife and kids got completely dicked by his life insurance company - since it was classified as a death by suicide they completely denied any payment and essentially told them "too bad, so sad". Horrible. Last I heard they had to sell their house to cover the estate and funeral / burial costs. Things like that are understandably upsetting to hear about and don't do anything to make me think our system doesn't completely suck and is completely misguided, but I'll stop there.

We treat our pets better than we treat our own brothers and sisters, thanks largely due to greed and silly religious dogma. I really hope by the time I hit my "golden years" that assisted suicide (without having to worry about next-of-kin getting screwed!) is an option. I certainly don't want to end up that way and to be honest I can't completely blame "Mike" (name changed) from doing what he did. It's just awful that his family got so hurt by it.

[Evans, Marv]

I've unfortunately arrived at my mid 70's, and as my former wife said in a birthday email,"Where has the time gone?" I haven't worried about the end yet but look around me at those in this age group, and realize I'm in that zone and the odds are I maybe won't be around for another ten years at most. I've always been lucky as far as physical condition and mental attitude is concerned, and it just hasn't dawned on me I should be worried. I've done my best to get things in order so my wife will have an easier time of it. Other than that, I try to enjoy each day as much as I can. I think that's all you can do.

[Concestor0]

Originally Posted by Porsche-O-Phile

That's the part that sucks. I am seriously considering a "do not treat / DNR" just so I don't have to go through that kind of hell. If it's my time. I just want it to be my time and be done with it. It's horrible seeing what we put people through in their so-called "golden years".

It's mind-boggling to me that our supposedly enlightened society hasn't openly accepted euthanasia and assisted suicide yet as options for those at the end of life (although it's going that way finally - albeit extremely slowly). It galls me to think that a person who's miserable, suffering and has no quality of life can be made to languish for years simply because the insurance industry refuses to let assisted suicide laws become reality (it'll screw up their precious actuarial tables - they're the staunchest opponents of assisted suicide and euthanasia laws along with religious zealots).

The Canadian government recently opened up assisted dying laws and the change was widely supported. It make take a little longer to see this in the US but who knows, you legalized pot in some places earlier than we did.

Regarding dying, I too am not counting on an afterlife. I fully acknowledge the astonishingly long odds of having just existed so I am just happy to enjoy and appreciate the time I have. I also think that humans die too soon; there are many mammals and even fish that live longer than us so I am a big proponent of life extension sciences. From a personal and collective wisdom perspective, I think that humanity would benefit from a larger pool of wise old people.

[SCadaddle]

"Enjoy every sandwich"

Warren Zevon

[Gogar]

I know I'm late to your party, but here's my advice. Enjoy!!!


NEVER EVER throw away your stash of dirty magazines and stuff you don't want people to see. If you NEVER EVER throw it away, the shame will keep you alive.


It's always good to have that one friend who will RUN TO YOUR HOME and throw away your dirty box of porno and filth if you -accidentally- die, so your beloved mother/wife/children won't see your shame, BUT

Do your ticker a favor and just leave that box of filth under your bed or wherever it is in the shop, and you'll live FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!

[rattlsnak]

I think about it from time to time and the worst part is, now that I'm a little past 50, I know for sure that my life is easily more than half over and that alone is a sobering thought.

[Gogar]

FWIW I will die at home in my bed overnight some night, and I just hope that I'll be in a situation where someone will find me quickly to make the cleanup bearable.

Seriously. That's the only part of it that I worry about. I'll be dead, and I don't have to maintain a legacy for any kids or spouse etc.