Divorce present - Page 6

KFC911 · 09-30-2018, 05:37 AM

I like the slower Commodore's version better though...

Sail on brother

...

flatbutt · 09-30-2018, 06:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by targa911S

i'd buy myself a 21year old redhead..

RENT! Not buy!! If it were me I'd engage in some of the behaviors that would make it difficult to run for public office...oh wait.

LWJ · 09-30-2018, 07:36 AM

Grog,
Congrats. You are alive and sane. Your children love you.
These three things are a pretty big win.
Larry

Zeke · 09-30-2018, 08:16 AM

Well, you had a long enough time to think about your purchases, I doubt you'll have any remorse. Not what I would have done but you didn't ask, so be happy and enjoy!

Grog · 09-30-2018, 11:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sugarwood

Happy that you made it to the other side, brother.

1.5 years later, how do you feel about the whole thing?
Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance?

Do you have any motivation to meet someone new yet?

Now that the stress of an upcoming trial is gone I'm feeling pretty good. I haven't had a beer episode since the trial. Before this I could have 1 to 3 beers a few times a week and that would be all. After this happened if I had 1, I was all in. Had to stop buying the stuff. I'm back to were I was with my beer relationship, maybe less. I still don't buy any for home, but occasionally stop at a watering hole for a couple. As far as her, I don't feel the love anymore. I still miss her company. I miss having someone to share my day with. It's betrayal by the one that was the most trusted. Its a hard thing to deal with. I feel I can never trust anyone like I trusted her again. Because of her history and what this guy did to her over 30 years ago I thought she would never do something like this. If she could do it, than anyone can. I know there are people out there that can be trusted but I can't take that chance, I barely survived this round. I mean barely, not proud, of things I did right after, hurt my kids with my behavior. Gun to my head a few times, they found me passed out in the truck in the driveway. You have to understand, there was nothing wrong with the marriage as far as I could tell. She told me that she loved me, but just loved him more, always considered him as her soul mate. Guess that means there was something wrong? I think it would have been easier if she had died in a car wreck.

I spent 25 years focusing on taking care of my wife and kids. It's why I worked. I did it for them so they can have a good life. Kids have 2 years plus of collage and no bills. Wife didn't work much, she got to do her art and music. So now I'm enjoying my freedom and focusing on me. It's me time. I would like to have a lady friend but I'm afraid I will get attached. I will never marry again, it's a scam, not a real contract, can't even sue for breach of contract, I checked. You could but you would spend a lot of money with no return. The loneliness will suck, but it's a lot less complicated than having a female around.

Grog · 09-30-2018, 11:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LWJ

Grog,
Congrats. You are alive and sane. Your children love you.
These three things are a pretty big win.
Larry

It was back in the early part. I was spilling my guts to this bartender lady, worrying about the outcome of a trial. She says to me, you already won, you have the kids. Words I lived by.

cairns · 09-30-2018, 11:45 AM

Grog I feel so bad for you. Hang in there and be as happy as you can. Time will help I think.

Evans, Marv · 09-30-2018, 12:04 PM

I was a single guy for a lot of time in my younger days, and I had a philosophy about women that served me well (which I've commented about here before). I didn't marry for the first time until I was 32. We went our separate ways ten years later on friendly terms. I was single again for another 13 or so years before marrying my current wife of 20+ years, and (as I say to her) I wouldn't trade her for a billionaire starlet. My idea was to have women friends - with or without sex. There was always plenty of sex. I chose them as people I wanted to do things with and enjoy their company and do activities with them I enjoyed. If they totally didn't like what I did, I didn't maintain a relationship, however I didn't strictly exclude women who my likes didn't completely synch with, because people are different, should be appreciated because of that, and diversity is interesting. People seem to assume you have to have a permanent partner in your life to feel complete, successful, whatever. I've heard plenty of women comment they "liked to have a man around." So if you can get around that, be upfront about the type of relationship (association?) you want and just have a good time and realize not every encounter has to be looked in the light of a possible wife or husband, lots of stress is removed. You've been through the married scene, had kids, etc. so just enjoy things like that a bit on your terms.

wdfifteen · wdfifteen's Garage

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grog

If I have any money left I was thinking of getting a divorce present for me. I have put off my love for cars to feed my family, support my cheater wife and put 2 kids through college. It's me time. here is my list of cars I was thinking about.

I'm sorry for your troubles, and I understand the need for some "me" time.
Been there, done that. I bought a bulldozer (1925 Cat 60) and a 911. No joy.
If having your own 20,000 pound bulldozer whose starter is a 3 foot steel rod doesn't settle your heart, you need therapy.
My therapy was MrsWD. I didn't even start to live until we met. We've been together a long time, and she is still the center of my life, my reason for being.
I hope you find what you are looking for.

Grog · 09-30-2018, 01:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wdfifteen

I'm sorry for your troubles, and I understand the need for some "me" time.
Been there, done that. I bought a bulldozer (1925 Cat 60) and a 911. No joy.
If having your own 20,000 pound bulldozer whose starter is a 3 foot steel rod doesn't settle your heart, you need therapy.
My therapy was MrsWD. I didn't even start to live until we met. We've been together a long time, and she is still the center of my life, my reason for being.
I hope you find what you are looking for.

I didn't marry until I was 30. It took me a long time to find one I could live with. It didn't help that I was shy, quiet, afraid to talk to the opposite sex. They don't scare me anymore, except that they can destroy you. I know cars, trucks and other toys won't replace them, but they are fun. I don't ever want to be married again, wouldn't mind a girlfriend. I'm not going to actively look for one. Haven't had time as I'm trying to get this house in order.

Grog · 09-30-2018, 01:48 PM

I have been re-graveling my parking area between the house and the shop. Also adding some needed drainage. I bought the tractor in 2007 and the excavator a few years later. Fun stuff.

Por_sha911 · Por_sha911's Garage

Pickup truck: $$$$$$
Corvette: $$$$$

Years of heartache and pain from a betrayal of the deepest kind: not worth the toys.

My heart goes out to anyone who has been betrayed like that (unless they caused it) and hope that they can learn to fully love and trust again.

Grog · 09-30-2018, 10:00 PM

never trust again

KFC911 · 10-01-2018, 03:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grog

never trust again

Mebbe...mebbe not? Keep on keepin' on Grog...hard to read your saga...it sucks

. But you're gonna be in a much better "place" as time passes...kudos to you!

If yer ex goes missing now...you know all that nice work is gonna be dug up doncha know

recycled sixtie · recycled sixtie's Garage

Hey Grog you are doing well. What that bartender said made a lot of sense. I know it sounds trite but counselling can help if you find a good one. Having said that after seven years of marriage to my first wife and fortunately no kids I was done. I bent the ears off of a couple of fellow workers as they acted as my "counselors".

You have come out the other side. If you feel like the rug has been pulled out from under your feet then it has. You are on solid footing now. If in doubt and you meet someone then there is nothing wrong with living separately. You can feel alone living by yourself as you can living with the wrong person.

Keep on trucking!

Por_sha911 · Por_sha911's Garage

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grog

never trust again

That's the saddest thing in this thread. Life doesn't wait on the wounded and you don't want to live the rest of your days in pain and distrust. It may not seem possible now but strive to let go of the pain and learn to love again.

ckelly78z · 10-02-2018, 03:33 AM

Re-reading this thread is (and should be) a wake up call to those of who are still married. Pay attention to your wife, do fun things with her, and be more engaged in what she has to say.

I wish you luck with your future relationships, that you can find that one special lady that may change your mind about trust. After 30 years of marriage, my wife, and I trust each other completely (hopefully).

flatbutt · 10-02-2018, 04:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grog

never trust again

I never did and it sucks. But never met anyone that made we want to marry again. Divorced for 30 years and still on my own.

Grog · 10-03-2018, 06:59 PM

Thank you to all who wished me well. I'll be ok. I've taken an interest in the robot sex thread.

herr_oberst · 10-03-2018, 07:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grog

Thank you to all who wished me well. I'll be ok. I've taken an interest in the robot sex thread.

You could get a Fleshlight first, see how you like it before you spend all that money...